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09-04-2015, 05:40 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-04-2015, 05:42 PM by E-Man.)
(After several miles of running, Red is out of breath as he reaches the beginning of World 1-1 of the original Super Mario Bros. Red views his surroundings and finds Black meditating.)
Red: *Panting* Finally… I think… I lost that… Old fart...
Black: *Notices Red* Oh, you're here already? I was almost expecting that other guy to do you in… Still, I take it the only reason you're still alive is due to running away like one of those Dayzees.
Red: Shu-shut up! It's not like you acted like the brave ninja you keep boastin' about and made chopped chestnuts outta him!
Black: It's called a tactical retreat. He wasn't my problem anyway.
Red: Ye… Yeah! That's it! I was… Uhhh… Tactical retreating?
(Black rolls his eyes at that comment, while Green and Yellow enter the scene.)
Red: *Quickly turns around* Hey! Thought ya dudes got lynched or somethin' by that wacko chestnut!
If I'm not allowed to use the word "lynched" in a Mario video, then I'll change it to something else. It's not that I have a problem, but rather I don't want to upset Nintendo of America.
Yellow: Surprisingly, he did not inflict corporal harm on either of us, but he might have sent his son to shatter or shells if we didn't pay him for the damages to his gate. Even though I offered to create a more high-tech gate, he just turned down my offer in favor of a more traditional design. If anything, only my pride is hurt...
Red: Oh, cry me a river… What about you, leafboy?
Green: Oh! I, like, offered to fix it just the way he wants it and he totally let me! I only wanted some sweet Goomnuts as a reward, but the mustache guy said they're, like, out of season or somethin'. He made me take this instead, though, for my modesty or whatever... *Shows the others a big bag of coins, which makes Black smile*
Red: *Slaps away the money* Forget your boy scout earnings!
(An emotionally hurt Green starts picking up the scattered coins, while Black glares at Red.)
Red: While you're playin' lapdog to a shriveled fungus, I was thinkin' abotu what happened back there. If we couldn't even snatch that wimp by ourselves, what chance do we have at the other guys? We need a new plan FAST 'cuz it's not like our next big idea is going to smack us clean in the fa-
(As Red is talking, he turns around and starts walking in the opposite direction. He does not pay attention as he smacks into the giant Koopa, Kent C. Koopa.)
Kent C. Koopa: My, oh my! If it isn't my old sparring buddies from Koopa Village! Fancy meeting you here of all places! Yes, indeed!
I hope you don't mind, but I want to keep most of Kent C.'s lines the same. My idea behind Kent is that he acts like your friend and has a polite (but otherwise goofy) method of speaking, but he's only after your coins. In fact, this guys is aways willing to take the path that breaks you if it means that he'll get the highest payoff.
Red: Kent C.! Small world, ain't it? Here for another one of your scams?
Kent C. Koopa: Why, yes I am, my friends! I found this lovely road to close off for a modest toll! I haven't found a path this perfect in a handful of years! Why, I even heard that the last time a certain plumber has been treading on it was about twenty years or so, which means that it won't end as badly as my last tollbooth scheme!
Yellow: Actually, I'm somewhat doubting your sources considering how Nintendo has a habit of exploiting nostalgia….
Red: *Snaps his fingers* WAIT A SEC! Ya wouldn't mind doing a favor, ya fat lug?
Kent C. Koopa: Well, well! For a friend like you, I'd give you the world! …. Of course, it's nothing personal, but I don't just give my help to anyone… Not without a little… *Wiggles fingers* Compensation if you know what I mean.
(Red thinks about this for a little while, but after noticing that Green picked up all his coins, it finally clicks. To confirm this, he gives a sly grin to Green, who doesn't know what to make of it.)
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
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(The scene changes to Pleasant Path. There is an obvious pitfall trap and the Koopa Bros. are partly seen in a nearby bush.)
Green: I get you think I'm, like, braindead, Red, but even I see how this trap's totally bogus.
Red: Then watch and learn, Braindead. Yellow has everything covered…
Yellow: If you're done patting me on the back, Red, we'd better remain quiet right about… *Waits a bit* Now!
(The four Koopa Bros. hide further in the bush. Parakarry is then seen flying across the path from the left. He suddenly stops to look at the obvious trap.)
Parakarry: *Chuckles* I reckon someone tried to trap me. Bet they forgot I can fl-
(Suddenly, a cage erupts from the ground and snags Parakarry.)
Parakarry: GWARSH! What the-!?
Red: *From offscreen* SCORE! Great work as usual, Einstein!
(The Koopa Bros. jump ioutand do their stylish introduction poses.)
Parakarry: Aw, dangnabbit! You fellers again! Can't y'all leave this ol' public servant alone?
Red: Funny you'd mention that since we ain't gonna do JACK SQUAT to ya. Let this flyboy out, Yellow.
(Yellow shrugs and presses a button on a remote that causes the cage to sink back into the ground.)
Black: Red, this is a bad idea. I was expecting you to only use that greedy punk in case he broke out.
Red: Nuh-uh! It's awesome! Besides, I already paid Kent and he wanted some payback!
Parakarry: Kent? As in Kent C.?
(Kent C. Koopa falls from the sky.)
Kent C. Koopa: The one and only, my friend! If I remember correctly, it was our mutual friend, Mario, that threw his monkey wrench in one of my favorite schemes. Since that unpleasant affair, I've been hard pressed to find a steady buisness proposition that fills my pocketbooks. Yes indeedly-so!
Parakarry: Welp, I could just get you a job over at the postoffice if it's money troubles yer havin'.
Kent C. Koopa: As much as working for spare change sounds oh so interesting, the amount of coins from snapping your pretty, little neck is far more than your ramshackle postal service ever makes in a year. Without a meddling plumber to save you, you can count on this being your last day alive, my friend… Any last words?
Green: Aren't we, like, supposed to keep him kickin' instead of offing him?
Parakarry: The only one bein' off is you off the path!
(Parakarry reaches into his delivery bag and pulls out a Sleepy Sheep. He summons a flock of sheep to pass by Kent C. Koopa, which makes him drowsy. Parakarry then flips him over and knocks him into the river in the typical Koopa Shell fashion. Red is speechless at what he saw.)
Parakarry: Ya know, fellers. Tamperin' with the mail is a kingdom offense...
Red: Ummm… Errrrr… RAISE SOME SHELL, BLACK!
Black: FINE! But this is the last time I'll save your sorry hide!
(A fight scene breaks out between Parakarry and Black. I won't go into too much detail in this script since it's better to show it in the storyboard. Of course, there's a bit where Red is doing mock punches, like some characters do on the sidelines during more serious fight scenes.)
Green: *During the fighting* Uhhh… Why aren't we, like, gettin' a piece of that action, dudes?
(The fighting continues until the point Black has Parakarry in a headlock. It looks like Black is about to win this fight.)
Red: YEAH! Let 'im have it, BLACK! Give 'im the o'l curb stomp! Slit his throat wide open! Post embarrassing pictures of 'im online!
Black: *Suddenly notices Red* RED! What the heck are you do-ACK! *Get tackled by Parakarry*
Red: *Panicing* Oh-crud-oh-crud-oh-crud-oh-crud-oh-crud… *Notices a rock nearby* Ah!
(With great effort, Red lifts the rock up to his chest and then tosses it. Unfortunately, it ends up knocking Black on the head. Parakarry lets go from his hold on Black.)
Parakarry: Tell ya what, fellers. Since I never had this much fun in a long time, I'll let this whole thing slide...
(Parakarry flies off to resume his duties. I think he should drop a letter as a gag. After Black gets up from his back, he walks angrily away from the group.)
Red: Errr… Heh-heh… We'll get him next time, bro?
(Black quickly faces Red. He points to both his eyeballs with two fingers on his hand and then swiftly points them at Red. He then turns around to resume his walk. Green looks very concerned, while Yellow sternly glares at Red.)
Red: Aw, he'll come around, boys!
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
09-05-2015, 11:32 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-05-2015, 05:31 PM by Kosheh.)
(09-05-2015, 10:49 AM)E-Man Wrote: (Parakarry flies off to resume his duties. I think he should drop a letter as a gag. After Black gets up from his back, he walks angrily away from the group.)
I really hope Red opens the dropped letter to continue being an asshole at the end of this part, only for it to say on Koopa Postal Service stationery
Quote:Dear Koopa Brothers:
Taking another citizen's mail and opening it is considered an act of mail theft.
Mail theft is no joke - it's a kingdom offense that if you're found guilty in a court of Mushroom Law can result in up to five years jail time and fines up to 2,500 coins.
Sincerely yours,
Parakarry
only for Red to start cursing unintelligibly (RAHGGABABLGHARHGHEBABBLE) while doing the "hurt" animation and flipping around in frustration
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As much as I'd like to use an idea like that, I can't really pull it off now without breaking the flow of the story. Still, even though it was originally just a simple nod to Parakarry's habit of misplacing letters in the original game, I'm up including it as a story element that leads to a similar gag in the future.
Basically, what I have in mind is that Parakarry is having letter troubles again and is looking around for lost letters. The one he dropped in the short was actually picked up by Green (it's offscreen, but the new short will show a flashback that extends to the point where Green picks up the letter) and he is keeping it until a good time to return it. Red eventually finds it and tries to read it, but it leads to a whole situation where the letter goes back and forth from Mario and his allies (including Green) to Red. Eventually, Red reads the letter, but as it turns out, it's from Black's pen pal and it's loaded with insults towards Red. Then, Parakarry tells Red that mail theft is a kingdom offense and make it clear that he won't get away with it this time. Thus, Parakarry Shell Shoots Red clean in the stomach. What do you think?
(The scene cuts to the outside of the Koopa Bros. Fortress. There is a sign that reads "Help Wanted." The scene then cuts back to the bedroom of the Koopa Bros. where all furniture and possessions owned by Black are gone. Red is loafing on his bed, Yellow is at the table drumming his fingers, and Green is sitting on the floor bummed out about Black leaving.)
Red: Any other bright ideas, dudes?
Green: Red, do we, like, need to be a part of this whole evil rigmarole? We already got our shells handed to us as it is...
Red: *Is visibly annoyed* Any BRIGHT ideas from a SMART guy?
Yellow: Even though Green raises a good point, we only attempted to capture two out of eight members of his party.
Red: *Gets out of bed* Oh yeah! It's to soon to throw the towel, bros! Heck, we might get lucky and even bag the toughest on the team!
Yellow: Now there's the Red I know! *Gets out of his chair and starts pacing* Now, we can't go to Lavalava Island since my last boat prototype nearly costed me my right hand and neither of us can swim…
Green: I can totally swim!
Yellow: Across a mass of water like the ocean?
(Green looks sad for a moment.)
Yellow: Hey, Green, at least you we're trying to assist us, so don't look so down.
Red: Ugh… Must ya baby him? Look, I thought about the other places while you're ramblin' about swimmin' and something about a boat and your left hand-
Yellow: Right hand, actually.
Red: WHATEVER! As I was sayin', Koopa Village's out since it's not like they'll roll out the red carpet for the likes of us, while takin' on Spike means dealin' with that WACK JOB of a girlfriend.
Yellow: You mean the same girlfriend who threw a Spiny Egg with enough force that it had to be surgically removed from this poor guy who only looked at Lakilester funny? *Shivers*
(Green nods.)
Red: Okay, what about that ghost chick? Wasn't her name Lady Boo or somethin'?
Green: Lady Bow, dude. Besides, we can't go to the Forever Forest anyways.
Red: And why's that? You a Scaredy Rat?
Green: Um, aren't you, like, the guy who can't even look at the entrance?
(Red shoots Green an annoyed look.)
Green: SORRY! SORRY! Just askin'… Look, what I was tryin' to say is that the leafy dude who knows the place pulled a Houdini after something happened in Toad Town that landed him in deep doo-doo. Dunno what it was, but I think it had somethin' to do with the bushes outside Bow's pad and how how he, like, made Tayce T. cook a bunch of weird green cakes with that blue thing on top.
(Out of anger, Red lunges at Green and grabs him by the neck.)
Red: THERE YOU GO AGAIN MESSING A PERFECTLY GOOD PLAN UP, YA BUZZKILL!
Green: *Franticly* WAIT-WAIT-WAIT! THERE'S WATT! WATT!
(Red lets go of Green out of confusion.)
Red: What?
Yellow: He means Watt as in the baby Lil' Sparky. If I remember correctly from the reports from Bowser, Mario saved her from a ghost who kidnapped her.
Red: Kidnapped, eh? *Grins and rubs hands together* This could be our chance, dudes! Play our cards right and not only he'll bag a baby, but he'll also take on the rest of those CHUMPS!
Yellow: No offense, but how you mentioned that he'll "bag a baby" sounds very… Questionable…
Red: *Puts his hand on Yellow's back* Ya worry too much, bro.! Once we meet this spook in the Toy Box, you'll feel much better about all this!
(Yellow still looks skeptical, but still walks with Red out of the room. Green picks himself up after his strangling and takes a deep breath as he slowly walks forward.)
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
09-05-2015, 07:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-05-2015, 07:50 PM by Kosheh.)
try
dudes -> bros
dude -> bro
"bro" as in when Red uses it -> "compadre"
reading through it now, for some reason with the amount of times you use the word "dude" i kinda realize how
non-conducive it is to Red. Changing it to "bro" kinda gives Red a bit of a different vibe - one that's more relaxed and more modern but still lives on to this day.
Like think uh, you want more Robbie Rist than Townsend Coleman. (Robbie Rist has also done voicework in the new TMNT cartoons as Mondo Gecko (who appears in...episode 69. lol)
(it's alright on Green though - he's more of a goofball, and it kinda emphasizes his...weirdness. also "rigamarole" kinda sticks out in Green's dialogue - I used it once and it was to emphasize his goofiness then, and since he's been written completely differently. He's used it like 3 times now. Try swapping between "spiel", "rigamarole", and other synonyms for "long-winded story")
based on your writing, "bro" in various parts of the dialogue seems like it flows better than "dude" most of the time in Red's dialogue, and I mean, they're the Koopa Bros, not the Koopa Dudes, dude. Pepperoni! Totally tubular. Cowabunga!
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09-06-2015, 03:37 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-06-2015, 05:19 PM by E-Man.)
You raise a good point, so I'll do that when I compile all the script pieces into one full script. I won't do it on this post because I don't want it to get cluttered with the final script piece I'll rewrite.
(The scene cuts to the outside of the Big Lantern Ghost's room in Shy Guy's Toy Box. The scene cuts again to the inside of it, which is pitch black.)
???: Wee hee hee hee… Glad you could join me… In the dark…
Red: Okay… When I was hopin' to seal the deal, I wasn't THINKIN' it would be in a place where I can't even SEE my own dang HAND in front of my face!
(There is the sound of a light switch clicking as the lights in the room turn on. It is revealed that Red activated a comically large light switch and he is accompanied by Yellow and the Big Lantern Ghost.)
Big Lantern Ghost: Gah! I hate the light!
Yellow: Please understand that we need your help. After we finalize the details, you can spend at least another moment alone in the dark.
Big Lantern Ghost: Oh yes! How reasonable! Now then… Wee hee hee… What exactly are you proposing to me…?
Red: See, we heard you nabbed a certain brat years ago, so ya think you'll do it again along with snatching the rest of a certain plumber's gang of chumps?
Big Lantern Ghost: Ah… When you mentioned a brat, did you mean the infant who is smooth and electrifying to the touch…? For a proposition, like this one… I will gladly do this without price… Of course, to effectively make the most of my services... I require just a handful of… Favors…
(Yellow is a little skeptical when the Big Lantern Ghost was describing Watt, but Red only reacted when he mentioned that he'll do it for free.)
Red: FOR FREE!? Sounds radical, Sheetboy! Sure, a bit of manual labor sounds really drab, but I'm up for it as long as I get results!
Big Lantern Ghost: Wee hee hee… I am ever so glad you are willing to do this… Now then… My first request is that one of you deliver these supplies to the town's chef... Make sure that she cooks them all up into yummy treats…
(The Big Lantern Ghost shows the two Koopa Bros. a pile of multiple items. There are pitchers of Honey Syrup, Fire Flowers, Volt Shrooms, Lemons, Limes, Coconuts, and Jars of Jammin' Jelly. Of course, most of the pile consists of bags of Cake Mix. Yellow is a little uneasy by what he sees.)
Red: Mmm… Mind if I have some of those munchies?
Big Lantern Ghost: Of course… I wanted those made to share with others… Now then… For my second task… I would like you take take this paint and use it to give that truck over there a fresh coat of paint…
(He hands Red and Yellow two cans of white paint and points to a life-sized toy truck. Red is visibly annoyed, while Yellow is sweating.)
Big Lantern Ghost: Once you two are done with your chores… We can then force the truck outside the Toy Box and into the real world… Since the house that contains this world is in a neighborhood… This will allow my plan to be almost instantly set in motion… Wee hee hee hee…
Red: Whatever, Ghost Guy! As long as it's easy and FOOLPROOF, I'm up for any bit of this plan to catch the rest of those-
(Yellow couldn't stand it any longer and grabs Red by the collar to drag him out of the room.)
Yellow: NOPE! NO! No! No! NO! We're done here, Red!
Red: ACK! YELLOW! How come you ain't smart enough to see a good gig, like thi-
Yellow: I said… WE'RE DONE HERE!
(It cuts outside where Yellow is still dragging a ranting Red. Green manages to catch up when he notices his two friends going in the opposite direction. He doesn't know what to make of it, but then he catches sight of the Big Lantern Ghost leaving his room.)
Big Lantern Ghost: Wait! Come back, my friends! We have so much to cover and no one else was willing to help me with this task!
(Green is still confused by what is going on, but he suddenly notices a wanted poster on a nearby wall. After a careful look, it turns out that it is a wanted poster for the Big Lantern Ghost. Green looks at the Big Lantern Ghost and tilts his head in an awkward way.)
***
(The scene cuts back to the outside of the Koopa Bros. Fortress. Yellow is still dragging Red, but he suddenly drops him in front as he makes his way inside.)
Red: WHAT GIVES!? Don't tell me that green dumb cluck's rubbin' of on ya!
Yellow: *Under his breath* Black really is right about his thickness… I need a break...
(Yellow opens the doors and they slam behind him. Red just stands there clueless for a bit, but he decides to follow him inside. The scene then cuts to the first corridor of the fortress with the cells and the upper block shifting puzzle. Red walking around looking for Yellow.)
Red: Yellow, ya there? Dunno what's got ya so cheesed, but it can't be my bad, right? *Pauses and starts gettign worried* Right? *Sees Yellow tied up and gaged* Okay… I'll just let you get back to… Whatever this is… *Turns around and walks away* I knew that guy had a screw loose… *Suddenly stops and then makes a double take at Yellow* HWAIT A SEC! WHO DID THIS TO YOU!?
???: *Says this when Red says "you"* Oh!
(Red frantically looks around for the source of the voice, but when he manages to look up, he is surprised to see Mario sitting up on the higher part of the corridor. He then jumps down to be at Red's level.)
Red: WAHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?
Mario: *As he uses body language to simulate talking* Oh-ho.
Red: So, what you're tellin' me is that you were spyin' on me and my compadres this whole time and you're here to punch my lights out.
*Note: Mario actually hides in several parts of the scenes throughout this short.*
Mario: *Cracks his knuckles and nods* Mm-hmm…
Red: *Looks at the camera* Oh boy… How do I always end up in deep Goomba dung?
*Credits*
(After the credits, Green enters the same corridor with a big bag of coins.)
Green: Guess what, dudes? I just snagged some weird ghost guy and got some serious coinage from a bounty! Not only is it enough to patch the fort up, but we can even grease Black's palms to...
(Green notices a brutally beaten Red, while Yellow is free from his bonds as he's nursing Red back to health.)
Green: Errrr… Heh, heh… Sorry, bros… Didn't know it was a bad time…
(Green walks backwards and closes the door behind him.)
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
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The Koopa Bros.: Back in Action
(The title of the short appears over an outside pan of the Koopa Bros. Fortress. I do not know if the fortress should look like it has seen better days or not ever since its appearance in Paper Mario. Inside, we find Red pacing around and sighing in the bedroom of the Koopa Bros. Yellow is nearby soldering a motherboard at a table.)
Red: *Sigh* Another day doin' jack all…
(Yellow sets down his soldering tool and looks at Red.)
Yellow: Is there something troubling you, Red?
Red: You're the brainiac on the team, Yellow. Figure it out yerself.
????: Save your brainpower, Yellow. He's just whining about how we haven't got a gig from Bowser in ages.
(Red gets startled by this comment as the camera quickly shifts to Black sitting on the bed next to him.)
Red: *Pants a bit* JEEZ, Black! You've been there long!? Stop usin' that freaky ninja stuff on me!
Green: *Offscreen* Red! RED! *Barges in* What's wrong! What's wro- WHOA!
(Green trips on the floor and Red facepalms.)
Red: Still bein' a clutz as aways, cheeseball?
Black: Don't pay any attention to that coward, Green. He was only startled when I sneaked up on him during another pointless venting session.
(Red glares at Black.)
Green: Oh? Was he ventin' about how we're unemployed every since Kammy lost her position next to Big B?
Red: *Facepalming* No… I was jabbin' about how us four ain't in Smash Bros… *Waits a bit and then explodes into a rage* OF COURSE I WAS RANTIN' ABOUT THAT, SHELL-BRAIN! After Blue Robes got back his Merlin gig from Kamms, the head honcho ain't got use for us yet! Thanks to that, we lack the goons and dough from keeping this fort from goin' south!
(As Red is shouting at Green, Green is cowering before Red. Yellow is worried and puts his hand over his mouth, while Black is standing there rolling his eyes with his arms crossed.)
Green: *After a moment, he composes himself by taking a deep breath* You didn't have to, like, blow your stack, dude. I was only askin'… Say, why's this place goin' south anyhow? Seems fine to me.
Suggestion 1
Red: Of course it does, Green… Everything looks PEACHY-KEEN to a ding-dong, like YOU! Look, since I'm so nice, I'll gladly break it down… AGAIN! The traps and stuff are totally busted! The indoor pools look funky and I'm not sure I WANT to know what's livin' in them now! As for our jail, people keep escapin' it for SOME reason I cant figure out! Yeah, I know Sausage-Nose and that chick blew a hole in it, but we patched it up, so why can't even a Goomba in!? The only guy in it now is that undead freak who keeps popping in and out like he owns the place…
Suggestion 2
Red: Of course it does, Green… Everything looks PEACHY-KEEN to a ding-dong, like YOU! Look, since I'm so nice, I'll gladly break it down… AGAIN! The traps and stuff are totally busted! The indoor pools look funky and I'm not sure I WANT to know what's livin' in them now! As for our jail, people keep escapin' it for SOME reason I cant figure out! Yeah, I know Sausage-Nose and one of those Bob-ombs blew a hole in it, but we patched it up, so why can't even a Goomba in!? The only guy in it now is that undead freak who keeps popping in and out like he owns the place…
(As Red is explaining his dilemma, the camera cuts and pans around various parts of the fortress. The hallway with the firebars shows the firebars all burnt out with ashes in their places. When the camera shows the base of entry tower with the pool of water, the green pool of sludgy water bubbles as a octopus tentacle rises from it. As for the cell where the Bob-ombs were once held, it shows the inside has graffiti in it. There is a lone Dry Bones collapsed on the floor, but it shortly rearranges its pieces back together and lets out an eerie cackle. When Red is done explaining, the camera cuts back to the bedroom.)
Green: Aw, it's not so bad, Red! That thing in the water's totally nice, especially when you feed it pizza! Also, that was me lettin' those guys out.
(Red gives Green an annoyed look.)
Green: What? Bill Bones gets shy a lot and he pays the rent down there!
Black: Heh… From what Green is saying, we're better off making this place a cheap motel just to pay for renovations… Still, if it'll keep you from whining all the time, I'd say we try doing Bowser a favor.
Red: Get another job from King Firebreath? The guy hates our guts too much to even put us on KP duty just for minimum wage…
Green: But, Red, I thought King B just isn't interested in us nomores since we're hardly anymore effective than even his averadge lack-
Red: SHUT UP, ya IDIOT! He hate's use since Fatty Red creamed us and that's THAT!
Yellow: Green is right, Red. No offense to you, but Bowser clearly used terms and facial expressions to show indifference when we saw him last. Now that I think of it, Kammy Koopa was the only reason he even considered hiring-
Red: Yeah, yeah… Whatever, Yellow… Look, guys, the only way to earn back the big guy's trust is to mop the floor with that plumber, but good luck tryin' to take out the guy who even makes the KING look bogus.
Green: Don't forget he even thrashed that baby Koopa dude who totally curb stomped us back at-
Red: CAN IT, GREEN!
Yellow: May I make a suggestion, Red? Perhaps if we took an important person in Mario's life as a hostage, we could use it as a kind of bargaining chip to gain the upper-hand?
Red: And that's why you're the Einstein on our team, compadre! *Thinks for a bit* Now, Peach is out since they likely beefed up security with all the times the bossman snatched her up.
Green: Actually, last time I heard, her place is still totally free from any-
Red: *Snaps fingers* BINGO! Remember Plumber Boy's gang of dweebs he kept during that Star Spirits rigmarole? We nab one and we're GOLDEN!
Black: Red, none of those guys are completely helpless. You're better off catching Luigi, who is actually quite simple to-
Red: C'mon, bros! Get your K-Game on 'cuz we're headin' out to Goomba Village! As for you, Yellow, how about makin' yourself useful and get one of yer trap doohickies?
Yellow: I actually have this really brilliant one I'm just about to put the finishing touches on, so give me a moment to find it.
(Red grins at this idea and both he and Yellow exit the bedroom. Green looks at Black, who sighs and preforms a single bacflip out the window. Green looks frontwards toward the viewer and makes an "I-don't-know" pose at the viewer before leaving.)
***
(The scene changes to Goomba Village. The camera is slowly panning outside of the main house to the left.)
Goombario: *From inside the house* Aw, come on, dad! Do I have to?
Goompapa: *Also inside* Son, even though it's yer job around the house to headbonk any unwanted guests, the last visitor we had was two months ago, and it was just an insurance salesman.
Goombario: You seemed to be so eager for me to headbonk such a nice guy.
Goompapa: Maybe to YOU, son! Anyways, yer ma's been pestering me to plant some new Goomnut Trees around the house. Since my back ain't what it used to be and I ain't gettin' my hands dirty over garden work, it's about time you started pulling yer weight around the house.
Goombario: Uh, when you say "hands," you mean that figuratively?
Goompapa: …Less sass and more work, young man.
Goombario: Alright, I get it! I was just gonna start looking for the shovel. Yeesh!
(Goombario steps outside with a spade and heads over to a vacant patch of dirt. He starts digging in the ground with a Goomnut beside him. Shortly afterwards, the camera pans over to the entry gate with the Koopa Bros. close to it.)
Red: Heh! There's the fungal squirt playin' in the dirt over there!
Green: Really? It looks like he's planting trees to make more radically tasty Goomnuts!
Red: BLEH… Goomnuts… Right then, Yellow, brought the trapping whatchamacallit?
Yellow: Indeed, Red! *Pulls out a net launcher made of some discarded junk* It's not much, but it can launch a high tensile strength net up to exactly 114.6 meters away.
Red: Oh… Well, I was hopin' it was just a cage or whatever. See, I ain't gonna need it since I'll just nab him the old fashioned way! Gimme a boost, Yellow!
Yellow: *As he helps Red up* Umm… Okay then…
Black: Ah… About time that windbag does something right for a change.
Green: What do ya mean, dude?
Black: He's taking the stealth approach without even me nagging him into doing it. Sure, sneaking up on a Goomba isn't a big deal, but it is a good start… Well, by my low expectations anyway…
Green: Oh! Sneak up and Goom-nap the little guy? That's, like, really clev-
Red: YO! CHESTNUT!
(Both Green and Yellow a struck dumbfounded, while Black facepalms.)
Red: *As he leans on top of the gate and rocks it back and fourth* My ombreys and I are back to punch your lights out! Without ol' Stromboli to get you outta this jam, you're ONE DEAD PIZZA TOPPING! Once we sack ya, we'll use you to bring that pepperoni pal of yours to his KNEES!
(As Red is making his threats, Goombario makes a quick eye dart over to the gate. He only rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he resumes digging in the ground.)
Red: *To the others* Check it, bros! He's too busy shaking in his li'l Goomba boots to even talk back! It's in the bag, gu-
(Just then, the gate gives in and topples backwards with Red on it. He lands on Yellow, which causes him to accidentally fire his net launcher at the window of the house. When the window breaks, Goombario is shocked and Goompapa angrily exits the house.)
Goompapa: *As the camera zooms in on him* Dang-NABBIT! I just fixed that gate…
Black: Yeah… You're on your own with this one, Red… *Disappears with a smoke bomb*
Red: *Finally comes to his sense* Uh-oh… LET'S SPLIT, BROS!
(Red hightails it out of Goomba Village. Green tires to get Yellow up, but it is too late as Goompapa catches them.)
Goompapa: So, ya'll reckon you can get away with breakin' my gate, huh? I hope ya'll kissed yer shells goodbye because I'm gonna make you pay…
***
(After several miles of running, Red is out of breath as he reaches the beginning of World 1-1 of the original Super Mario Bros. Red views his surroundings and finds Black meditating.)
Red: *Panting* Finally… I think… I lost that… Old fart...
Black: *Notices Red* Oh, you're here already? I was almost expecting that other guy to do you in… Still, I take it the only reason you're still alive is due to running away like one of those Dayzees.
Red: Shu-shut up! It's not like you acted like the brave ninja you keep boastin' about and made chopped chestnuts outta him!
Black: It's called a tactical retreat. He wasn't my problem anyway.
Red: Ye… Yeah! That's it! I was… Uhhh… Tactical retreating?
(Black rolls his eyes at that comment, while Green and Yellow enter the scene.)
Red: *Quickly turns around* Hey! Thought ya bros got lynched or somethin' by that wacko chestnut!
Yellow: Surprisingly, he did not inflict corporal harm on either of us, but he might have sent his son to shatter or shells if we didn't pay him for the damages to his gate. Even though I offered to create a more high-tech gate, he just turned down my offer in favor of a more traditional design. If anything, only my pride is hurt...
Red: Oh, cry me a river… What about you, leafboy?
Green: Oh! I, like, offered to fix it just the way he wants it and he totally let me! I only wanted some sweet Goomnuts as a reward, but the mustache guy said they're, like, out of season or somethin'. He made me take this instead, though, for my modesty or whatever…
(Green shows the others a bag of coins, which makes Black smile.)
Red: *Slaps away the money* Forget your boy scout earnings!
(An emotionally hurt Green starts picking up the scattered coins, while Black glares at Red.)
Red: While you're playin' lapdog to a shriveled fungus, I was thinkin' abotu what happened back there. If we couldn't even snatch that wimp by ourselves, what chance do we have at the other guys? We need a new plan FAST 'cuz it's not like our next big idea is going to smack us clean in the fa-
(As Red is talking, he turns around and starts walking in the opposite direction. He does not pay attention as he smacks into the giant Koopa, Kent C. Koopa.)
Kent C. Koopa: My, oh my! If it isn't my old sparring buddies from Koopa Village! Fancy meeting you here of all places! Yes, indeed!
Red: Kent C.! Small world, ain't it? Here for another one of your scams?
Kent C. Koopa: Why, yes I am, my friends! I found this lovely road to close off for a modest toll! I haven't found a path this perfect in a handful of years! Why, I even heard that the last time a certain plumber has been treading on it was about twenty years or so, which means that it won't end as badly as my last tollbooth scheme!
Yellow: Actually, I'm somewhat doubting your sources considering how Nintendo has a habit of exploiting nostalgia….
Red: *Snaps his fingers* WAIT A SEC! Ya wouldn't mind doing a favor, ya fat lug?
Kent C. Koopa: Well, well! For a friend like you, I'd give you the world! …. Of course, it's nothing personal, but I don't just give my help to anyone… Not without a little… *Wiggles fingers* Compensation if you know what I mean.
(Red thinks about this for a little while, but after noticing that Green picked up all his coins, it finally clicks. To confirm this, he gives a sly grin to Green, who doesn't know what to make of it.)
***
(The scene changes to Pleasant Path. There is an obvious pitfall trap and the Koopa Bros. are partly seen in a nearby bush.)
Green: I get you think I'm, like, braindead, Red, but even I see how this trap's totally bogus.
Red: Then watch and learn, Braindead. Yellow has everything covered…
Yellow: If you're done patting me on the back, Red, we'd better remain quiet right about… *Waits a bit* Now!
(The four Koopa Bros. hide further in the bush. Parakarry is then seen flying across the path from the left. He suddenly stops to look at the obvious trap.)
Parakarry: *Chuckles* I reckon someone tried to trap me. Bet they forgot I can fl-
(Suddenly, a cage erupts from the ground and snags Parakarry.)
Parakarry: GWARSH! What the-!?
Red: *From offscreen* SCORE! Great work as usual, Einstein!
(The Koopa Bros. jump ioutand do their stylish introduction poses.)
Parakarry: Aw, dangnabbit! You fellers again! Can't y'all leave this ol' public servant alone?
Red: Funny you'd mention that since we ain't gonna do JACK SQUAT to ya. Let this flyboy out, Yellow.
(Yellow shrugs and presses a button on a remote that causes the cage to sink back into the ground.)
Black: Red, this is a bad idea. I was expecting you to only use that greedy punk in case he broke out.
Red: Nuh-uh! It's awesome! Besides, I already paid Kent and he wanted some payback!
Parakarry: Kent? As in Kent C.?
(Kent C. Koopa falls from the sky.)
Kent C. Koopa: The one and only, my friend! If I remember correctly, it was our mutual friend, Mario, that threw his monkey wrench in one of my favorite schemes. Since that unpleasant affair, I've been hard pressed to find a steady buisness proposition that fills my pocketbooks. Yes indeedly-so!
Parakarry: Welp, I could just get you a job over at the postoffice if it's money troubles yer havin'.
Kent C. Koopa: As much as working for spare change sounds oh so interesting, the amount of coins from snapping your pretty, little neck is far more than your ramshackle postal service ever makes in a year. Without a meddling plumber to save you, you can count on this being your last day alive, my friend… Any last words?
Green: Aren't we, like, supposed to keep him kickin' instead of offing him?
Parakarry: The only one bein' off is you off the path!
(Parakarry reaches into his delivery bag and pulls out a Sleepy Sheep. He summons a flock of sheep to pass by Kent C. Koopa, which makes him drowsy. Parakarry then flips him over and knocks him into the river in the typical Koopa Shell fashion. Red is speechless at what he saw.)
Parakarry: Ya know, fellers. Tamperin' with the mail is a kingdom offense...
Red: Ummm… Errrrr… RAISE SOME SHELL, BLACK!
Black: FINE! But this is the last time I'll save your sorry hide!
(A fight scene breaks out between Parakarry and Black. I won't go into too much detail in this script since it's better to show it in the storyboard. Of course, there's a bit whereRed is doing mock punches, like some characters do on the sidelines during more serious fight scenes.)
Green: *During the fighting* Uhhh… Why aren't we, like, gettin' a piece of that action, dudes?
(The fighting continues until the point Black has Parakarry in a headlock. It looks like Black is about to win this fight.)
Red: YEAH! Let 'im have it, BLACK! Give 'im the o'l curb stomp! Slit his throat wide open! Post embarrassing pictures of 'im online!
Black: *Suddenly notices Red* RED! What the heck are you do-ACK! *Get tackled by Parakarry*
Red: *Panicing* Oh-crud-oh-crud-oh-crud-oh-crud-oh-crud… *Notices a rock nearby* Ah!
(With great effort, Red lifts the rock up to his chest and then tosses it. Unfortunately, it ends up knocking Black on the head. Parakarry lets go from his hold on Black.)
Parakarry: Tell ya what, fellers. Since I never had this much fun in a long time, I'll let this whole thing slide...
(Parakarry flies off to resume his duties. I think he should drop a letter as a gag. After Black gets up from his back, he walks angrily away from the group.)
Red: Errr… Heh-heh… We'll get him next time, bro?
(Black quickly faces Red. He points to both his eyeballs with two fingers on his hand and then swiftly points them at Red. He then turns around to resume his walk. Green looks very concerned, while Yellow sternly glares at Red.)
Red: Aw, he'll come around, my compadres!
***
(The scene cuts to the outside of the Koopa Bros. Fortress. There is a sign that reads "Help Wanted." The scene then cuts back to the bedroom of the Koopa Bros. where all furniture and possessions owned by Black are gone. Red is loafing on his bed, Yellow is at the table drumming his fingers, and Green is sitting on the floor bummed out about Black leaving.)
Red: Any other bright ideas, bros?
Green: Red, do we, like, need to be a part of this whole evil shtick? We already got our shells handed to us as it is...
Red: *Is visibly annoyed* Any BRIGHT ideas from a SMART guy?
Yellow: Even though Green raises a good point, we only attempted to capture two out of eight members of his party.
Red: *Gets out of bed* Oh yeah! It's to soon to throw the towel, bros! Heck, we might get lucky and even bag the toughest on the team!
Yellow: Now there's the Red I know! *Gets out of his chair and starts pacing* Now, we can't go to Lavalava Island since my last boat prototype nearly costed me my right hand and neither of us can swim…
Green: I can totally swim!
Yellow: Across a mass of water like the ocean?
(Green looks sad for a moment.)
Yellow: Hey, Green, at least you we're trying to assist us, so don't look so down.
Red: Ugh… Must ya baby him? Look, I thought about the other places while you're ramblin' about swimmin' and something about a boat and your left hand-
Yellow: Right hand, actually.
Red: WHATEVER! As I was sayin', Koopa Village's out since it's not like they'll roll out the red carpet for the likes of us, while takin' on Spike means dealin' with that WACK JOB of a girlfriend.
Yellow: You mean the same girlfriend who threw a Spiny Egg with enough force that it had to be surgically removed from this poor guy who only looked at Lakilester funny? *Shivers*
(Green nods.)
Red: Okay, what about that ghost chick? Wasn't her name Lady Boo or somethin'?
Green: Lady Bow, dude. Besides, we can't go to the Forever Forest anyways.
Red: And why's that? You a Scaredy Rat?
Green: Um, aren't you, like, the guy who can't even look at the entrance?
(Red shoots Green an annoyed look.)
Green: SORRY! SORRY! Just askin'… Look, what I was tryin' to say is that the leafy dude who knows the place pulled a Houdini after something happened in Toad Town that landed him in deep doo-doo. Dunno what it was, but I think it had somethin' to do with the bushes outside Bow's pad and how how he, like, made Tayce T. cook a bunch of weird green cakes with that blue thing on top.
(Out of anger, Red lunges at Green and grabs him by the neck.)
Red: THERE YOU GO AGAIN MESSING A PERFECTLY GOOD PLAN UP, YA BUZZKILL!
Green: *Franticly* WAIT-WAIT-WAIT! THERE'S WATT! WATT!
(Red lets go of Green out of confusion.)
Red: What?
Yellow: He means Watt as in the baby Lil' Sparky. If I remember correctly from the reports from Bowser, Mario saved her from a ghost who kidnapped her.
Red: Kidnapped, eh? *Grins and rubs hands together* This could be our big chance, bros! Play our cards right and not only he'll bag a baby, but he'll also take on the rest of those CHUMPS!
Yellow: No offense, but how you mentioned that he'll "bag a baby" sounds very… Questionable…
Red: *Puts his hand on Yellow's back* Ya worry too much, compadre! Once we meet this spook in the Toy Box, you'll feel much better about all this!
(Yellow still looks skeptical, but still walks with Red out of the room. Green picks himself up after his strangling and takes a deep breath as he slowly walks forward.)
***
(The scene cuts to the outside of the Big Lantern Ghost's room in Shy Guy's Toy Box. The scene cuts again to the inside of it, which is pitch black.)
???: Wee hee hee hee… Glad you could join me… In the dark…
Red: Okay… When I was hopin' to seal the deal, I wasn't THINKIN' it would be in a place where I can't even SEE my own dang HAND in front of my face!
(There is the sound of a light switch clicking as the lights in the room turn on. It is revealed that Red activated a comically large light switch and he is accompanied by Yellow and the Big Lantern Ghost.)
Big Lantern Ghost: Gah! I hate the light!
Yellow: Please understand that we need your help. After we finalize the details, you can spend at least another moment alone in the dark.
Big Lantern Ghost: Oh yes! How reasonable! Now then… Wee hee hee… What exactly are you proposing to me…?
Red: See, we heard you nabbed a certain brat years ago, so ya think you'll do it again along with snatching the rest of a certain plumber's gang of chumps?
Big Lantern Ghost: Ah… When you mentioned a brat, did you mean the infant who is smooth and electrifying to the touch…? For a proposition, like this one… I will gladly do this without price… Of course, to effectively make the most of my services... I require just a handful of… Favors…
(Yellow is a little skeptical when the Big Lantern Ghost was describing Watt, but Red only reacted when he mentioned that he'll do it for free.)
Red: FOR FREE!? Sounds radical, Sheetboy! Sure, a bit of manual labor sounds really drab, but I'm up for it as long as I get results!
Big Lantern Ghost: Wee hee hee… I am ever so glad you are willing to do this… Now then… My first request is that one of you deliver these supplies to the town's chef... Make sure that she cooks them all up into yummy treats…
(The Big Lantern Ghost shows the two Koopa Bros. a pile of multiple items. There are pitchers of Honey Syrup, Fire Flowers, Volt Shrooms, Lemons, Limes, Coconuts, and Jars of Jammin' Jelly. Of course, most of the pile consists of bags of Cake Mix. Yellow is a little uneasy by what he sees.)
Red: Mmm… Mind if I have some of those munchies?
Big Lantern Ghost: Of course… I wanted those made to share with others… Now then… For my second task… I would like you take take this paint and use it to give that truck over there a fresh coat of paint…
(He hands Red and Yellow two cans of white paint and points to a life-sized toy truck. Red is visibly annoyed, while Yellow is sweating.)
Big Lantern Ghost: Once you two are done with your chores… We can then force the truck outside the Toy Box and into the real world… Since the house that contains this world is in a neighborhood… This will allow my plan to be almost instantly set in motion… Wee hee hee hee…
Red: Whatever, Ghost Guy! As long as it's easy and FOOLPROOF, I'm up for any bit of this plan to catch the rest of those-
(Yellow couldn't stand it any longer and grabs Red by the collar to drag him out of the room.)
Yellow: NOPE! NO! No! No! NO! We're done here, Red!
Red: ACK! YELLOW! How come you ain't smart enough to see a good gig, like thi-
Yellow: I said… WE'RE DONE HERE!
(It cuts outside where Yellow is still dragging a ranting Red. Green manages to catch up when he notices his two friends going in the opposite direction. He doesn't know what to make of it, but then he catches sight of the Big Lantern Ghost leaving his room.)
Big Lantern Ghost: Wait! Come back, my friends! We have so much to cover and no one else was willing to help me with this task!
(Green is still confused by what is going on, but he suddenly notices a wanted poster on a nearby wall. After a careful look, it turns out that it is a wanted poster for the Big Lantern Ghost. Green looks at the Big Lantern Ghost and tilts his head in an awkward way.)
***
(The scene cuts back to the outside of the Koopa Bros. Fortress. Yellow is still dragging Red, but he suddenly drops him in front as he makes his way inside.)
Red: WHAT GIVES!? Don't tell me that green dumb cluck's rubbin' of on ya!
Yellow: *Under his breath* Black really is right about his thickness… I need a break...
(Yellow opens the doors and they slam behind him. Red just stands there clueless for a bit, but he decides to follow him inside. The scene then cuts to the first corridor of the fortress with the cells and the upper block shifting puzzle. Red walking around looking for Yellow.)
Red: Yellow, ya there? Dunno what's got ya so cheesed, but it can't be my bad, right? *Pauses and starts gettign worried* Right? *Sees Yellow tied up and gaged* Okay… I'll just let you get back to… Whatever this is… *Turns around and walks away* I knew that guy had a screw loose… *Suddenly stops and then makes a double take at Yellow* WAIT A SEC! WHO DID THIS TO YOU!?
???: *Says this when Red says "you"* Oh!
(Red frantically looks around for the source of the voice, but when he manages to look up, he is surprised to see Mario sitting up on the higher part of the corridor. He then jumps down to be at Red's level.)
Red: WAHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?
Mario: *As he uses body language to simulate talking* Oh-ho.
Red: So, what you're tellin' me is that you were spyin' on me and my compadres this whole time and you're here to punch my lights out.
*Note: Mario actually hides in several parts of the scenes throughout this short.*
Mario: *Cracks his knuckles and nods* Mm-hmm…
Red: *Looks at the camera* Oh boy… How do I always end up in deep Goomba dung?
*Credits*
(After the credits, Green enters the same corridor with a big bag of coins.)
Green: Guess what, dudes? I just snagged some weird ghost guy and got some serious coinage from a bounty! Not only is it enough to patch the fort up, but we can even grease Black's palms to...
(Green notices a brutally beaten Red, while Yellow is free from his bonds as he's nursing Red back to health.)
Green: Errrr… Heh, heh… Sorry, bros… Didn't know it was a bad time…
(Green walks backwards and closes the door behind him.)
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
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The Koopa Bros.: Back in Action
(The title of the short appears over an outside pan of the Koopa Bros. Fortress. I do not know if the fortress should look like it has seen better days or not ever since its appearance in Paper Mario. Inside, we find Red pacing around and sighing in the bedroom of the Koopa Bros. Yellow is nearby soldering a motherboard at a table.)
Red: *Sigh* Another day doin' jack all…
(Yellow sets down his soldering tool and looks at Red.)
Yellow: Is there something troubling you, Red?
Red: You're the brainiac, so figure it out yerself.
Black: *Offscreen* Save your brainpower, Yellow. He's just whining about how we haven't got a gig from Bowser in ages.
(Red gets startled by this comment as the camera quickly shifts to Black sitting on the bed next to him.)
Red: *Pants a bit* JEEZ, Black! Stop usin' that freaky ninja stuff on me!
Green: *Offscreen* Red! RED! *Barges in* What's wrong! What's wro- WHOA!
(Green trips on the floor and Red facepalms.)
Red: *Under his breath* Klutz...
Black: Just ignore that coward, Green. He only shrieked when I sneaked up on him during another pointless venting session.
(Red glares at Black.)
Green: Oh? You ventin' about unemployment again, dude?
Red: *Facepalming* No… I was jabbin' about how us four ain't in Smash Bros… *Waits a bit and then explodes into a rage* OF COURSE I WAS RANTIN' ABOUT THAT, SHELL-BRAIN! Since the head honcho ain't got use for us yet, we lack the goons and dough from keeping this fort from goin' south!
(As Red is shouting at Green, Green is cowering before Red. Yellow is worried and puts his hand over his mouth, while Black is standing there rolling his eyes with his arms crossed.)
Green: *After a moment, he composes himself by taking a deep breath* You didn't have to, like, blow your stack, dude. I was only askin' *Thinks for a bit* Say, why's this place goin' south anyhow? Seems fine to me.
Suggestion 1
Red: Of course it does, Green… Everything looks PEACHY-KEEN to a ding-dong, like YOU! Look, since I'm so nice, I'll gladly break it down… AGAIN! The traps and stuff are totally busted! The indoor pools look funky and I'm not sure I WANT to know what's livin' in them now! As for our jail, people keep escapin' it for SOME reason I cant figure out! Yeah, I know Sausage-Nose and that chick blew a hole in it, but we patched it up, so why can't even a Goomba in!? The only guy in it now is that undead freak who keeps popping in and out like he owns the place…
Suggestion 2
Red: Of course it does, Green… Everything looks PEACHY-KEEN to a ding-dong, like YOU! Look, since I'm so nice, I'll gladly break it down… AGAIN! The traps and stuff are totally busted! The indoor pools look funky and I'm not sure I WANT to know what's livin' in them now! As for our jail, people keep escapin' it for SOME reason I cant figure out! Yeah, I know Sausage-Nose and one of those Bob-ombs blew a hole in it, but we patched it up, so why can't even a Goomba in!? The only guy in it now is that undead freak who keeps popping in and out like he owns the place…
(As Red is explaining his dilemma, the camera cuts and pans around various parts of the fortress. The hallway with the firebars shows the firebars all burnt out with ashes in their places. When the camera shows the base of entry tower with the pool of water, the green pool of sludgy water bubbles as a octopus tentacle rises from it. As for the cell where the Bob-ombs were once held, it shows the inside has graffiti in it. There is a lone Dry Bones collapsed on the floor, but it shortly rearranges its pieces back together and lets out an eerie cackle. When Red is done explaining, the camera cuts back to the bedroom.)
Green: Aw, it's not so bad, Red! That thing in the water's totally nice, especially when you feed it pizza! Also, that was me lettin' those guys out.
(Red gives Green an annoyed look.)
Green: What? Bill Bones gets shy a lot and he pays the rent down there!
Black: Heh… From what Green is saying, we're better off making this place a cheap motel just to pay for renovations… Still, if it'll keep your shell from getting bunched up, I'd say we try doing Bowser a favor.
Red: Get another job from King Firebreath? The guy hates our guts too much to even put us on KP duty just for minimum wage…
Green: But, Red, I thought King B just isn't interested in us since even Goombas are-
Red: SHUT UP, ya IDIOT! He hates us since Fatty Red creamed us and that's THAT!
Yellow: Green is right, Red. No offense to you, but Bowser clearly used terms and facial expressions to show indiffere-
Red: Yeah, yeah… Whatever, Yellow… Look, guys, the only way to win the big guy's trust is to mop the floor with that plumber, but good luck takin' out the guy who even makes the KING look bogus.
Green: Don't forget he even thrashed that baby Koopa dude who totally curb stomped us back at-
Red: CAN IT, GREEN!
Yellow: May I make a suggestion, Red? Perhaps taking an important person in Mario's life as a hostage would act as a kind of bargaining chip to gain the upper-hand?
Red: And that's why you're freakin' Einstein, compadre! *Thinks for a bit* Now, Peach is out since security's probably tight after bossman snatches her up all the time.
Green: But dude! her place is still totally free from any-
Red: *Snaps fingers* BINGO! Remember Plumber Boy's gang of dweebs from that Star Spirits rigmarole? We nab one and we're GOLDEN!
Black: Red, none of them are completely helpless. You're better off catching Luigi, who is actually quite simple to-
Red: C'mon, bros! Get your K-Game on 'cuz we're headin' out to Goomba Village! Yellow, you yeurself useful and get one of yer trap doohickies ready!
Yellow: I actually have this really brilliant one I'm just about to put the finishing touches on, so give me a moment to find it.
(Red grins at this idea and both he and Yellow exit the bedroom. Green looks at Black, who sighs and preforms a single bacflip out the window. Green looks frontwards toward the viewer and makes an "I-don't-know" pose at the viewer before leaving.)
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
Posts: 2,914
Threads: 96
Joined: Dec 2009
While I was waiting for additional feedback on the first "re-rewritten" part of the script, I was finishing up that next bit of progress on some puppets.
Even though it'll make for a cool original character idea, the "Spike Paragoomba" is just a means of saving space. Also, when I ink Goombario, I might end up making his head smaller since his hat makes him look bigger than Goompapa in spite of the two actually being the same height. Besides, his original Paper Mario sprite shows that Goombario is slightly smaller than Goompapa without the hat.
Also, I finished shading most of the Big Lantern Ghost's first parts.
I actually foresaw the problem involving the dangling bit with his head ever since I finished inking, but I didn't want to bring up a possible workaround without getting accused of laziness. As good as my shading looks, it's does make obvious seams in the moveable parts of the puppet. I tried to shade that bit in a way that don't look at at only one position and doesn't cause too many complications, but it still hardly looks good anyway. Even the alternate take to the right hardly looks any better. I might end up trying the shading on that bit again, but if all else fails, what do you think of the idea of either using flat shading or cel shading for the characters?
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
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09-16-2015, 06:28 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-16-2015, 06:29 PM by E-Man.)
In regards to that script I wrote, I showed it to my youngest sister to see if she could improve it. Surprisingly, all she mentioned that it just need to have a non-robotic delivery and it's good. Despite this, I'll show it to both my dad and other sister to see if they have a different opinion. Also, don't be shy about giving my writing any additional suggestions on how to improve it.
Speaking of improving, I experimented with an alternate shading style for Kent C. Koopa's head in addition to inking him.
To be brutally honest, I'm displeased with the results. I tried different variations of it, such as reducing the shading on the beak and making the contrast not so intense, but it still doesn't look good in my opinion. Even though this style makes it easier to deal with seams, I just don't like the lack of variation in the tones. On top of that, pulling off bit of subtle shading correctly is nearly impossible.
Then again, I'm not the best at cel shading, so maybe you guys could do better?
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
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So, I went back and played around with the Big Lantern Ghost's shading. It wasn't easy and the results aren't exactly perfect, but at least it looks better than the previous version. Also, I shaded his other arm positions.
I do want to give cel shading another chance in the future, but I'll probably leave it to an artist who understands it better.
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
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09-17-2015, 08:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-17-2015, 08:37 PM by TheShyGuy.)
With Cell Shading, instead of continuous shades, you map, or approximate, intervals of shades to be a single flat colored shade. The underlying ideas are all the same; you should shade by paying attention to the light source and the surface receiving the light.
With your attempts above, you've failed to correctly represent the surface of Kent's head which lead to his head looking like a flat cookie.
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I wouldn't exactly say that I failed at shading Kent's head. Instead, I was completely thrown off with the lack of tones and yeilded me average shading attempts as a result. Besides shading placement, what bothered me the most about the previous attempts were how harsh the contrast was with the shading and how I going by how cel shading usually doesn't use the same kind of highlights I use. Regarding the latter, it especially gave me a hard time because it made it harder to build the shadows without a solid "cornerstone."
Anyway, I decided to give the cel shading another try. I know that the contrast for everything is still too harsh, but I wanted to at least try to implement highlights to see if they help. Also, I took your suggestion about mapping the area to help define shading and came up with a possible solution in the form of contour lines . I plan to do this for now on every time I ink a new part regardless of which shading style I use.
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
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I made a few additional sketches for the Koopa, so I'm just about ready to ink these.
I won't start inking right away since I want to ink some more Goomba parts and take care of Kent C. first, so feel free to suggestion something about my new post and I'll take it into consideration.
(02-27-2014, 07:31 PM)Gors Wrote: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SUCK. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO SHOW YOUR SUCKY ART. I think this needs to go noticed to everyone, because sucking is not failing. Sucking is part of the fun of learning and if you don't suck, then you won't own at pixelart
it's ok to suck, sucking is not bad, just try and aim to always do your best!
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09-19-2015, 04:16 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-19-2015, 04:17 PM by TheShyGuy.)
I drew some lines to approximate the normals of the surfaces. You have inconsistent light sources that differ from his cheek, beak, and around his eyes.
Looking at the beak, the pointy end of his beak receives the darkest shade. If you look at the surrounding normals of that area, you'll see that they're quite close so it shouldn't be so dark.
Similar issues occur around his eyes and the back and top of his head (especially that large dark brown band).
Here's my attempt at Kent:
I didn't prefer your contours, so I drew my own. Yours are fine, but I prefer to have constant slices. The vertical lines show a X slices (varying YZ) and the horizontal lines show Y slices (varying XZ). Due to my contours, KentC appears to be viewed from above, front, and a bit to the left relative to his face. I also changed the shape of his beak by pinching the area below his nostril.
The light is aimed down and to the right relative to his head. So I shaded the faces whose normal pointed away enough from the light, which include faces that point downward and to the right. Note, I shaded Kent's entire jaw since it's occluded, it's normals are aimed downward, and it's simpler to one have one large shadow.
I didn't see a need to have multiple shades since I made the lit surface threshold pretty large.
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