All right - it's rant time. You know what bothers the everloving shit out of me? And I realized it recently because I'm old as balls? Today's gamers fucking disgust me. Especially the Nintendo fanboys. Yeah, that's right I said it. Y'all fuckin' disgust me.
No, not you guys. Sit down it's all right I'm not talking about anyone in general here - heck not even on VGR. It's moreso everyone else on social media. I just realized this today, and I feel like I've become...liberated.
Everywhere I look, I see stupid ass people on Nintendo's social media, crying, whining that they didn't get the games they wanted this E3. "Why would you LIE about Fire Emblem being 1 game?" "THIS ISN'T THE METROID WE WANTED!!!"
"You lost E3, Nintendo"
"AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO"
What the actual hell? It's times like this where I sit back and I actually think to myself "What is wrong with these people?" Personally, I thought Nintendo's E3 presentation was a home run. I mean, it wasn't Sony, but it surely wasn't Ubisoft either.
It took me like the whole week to figure it out but the answer is plain and simple:
American gamers are so self-entitled and greedy it's ridiculous. Nintendo didn't screw anything up during E3 - in fact, the whole time, I felt like Nintendo's digital presentation was centered on fun - which is what they've always stood for. They're like a digital Disney - they appeal to everyone and all tastes - and some ridiculous ideas you might've seen are ultimately covert marketing "schemes" (i.e. Animal Crossing amiibo Festival is nothing we would play as core gamers - but that's not the audience. AC is a fairly niche franchise, and amiibo Festival is a thinly-veiled casual entry for family entertainment that'll hopefully get your mom, who's privvy to board games but not so much time-consuming ones, to possibly take the leap and try out Happy Home Designer or New Leaf)
Everywhere I go, I see shit like this:
This isn't a list of predictions, this is a freakin wish list. These are ridiculously high hopes, and unrealistic expectations from a conservative little Japanese company like Nintendo who chooses to err on the side of caution, given the sheer amount of flops as of recent.
I'm mostly cheesed with shit like this and then posts following it crying about how these things weren't what fans wanted or wished for, STARTING PETITIONS ON CHANGE.ORG TO CANCEL GAMES, and that "Nintendo is digging their own grave". No. You're stupid as hell and development teams aren't your chimps who just shit out games and get paid in bananas to do so, and your actions say "I don't want companies like Nintendo to develop new games, I just want them to churn out remakes and make zero dollars." Because when you say that, Starfox Zero happens, where people complain "this looks just like the N64 game. I don't want this"
I just
arrrrrgh can we tactically nuke these shitty, entitled gamers? Dumpass gamers who hate innovation and minorities in game development?
just boom
blow 'em up
tl;dr: Nintendo is a traditionally conservative, Japanese (read: ass-backwards) company who chooses to err on the side of caution. It's why they're rolling in dough, and will do so for decades on end. Their backwards reasoning doesn't always work out (N3DSXL, amiibo) but they'll catch on eventually. They keyword with Nintendo, as is every other gaming company ever, is "patience". They'll get it right...just give them another few months to sort things out and be there to comfort you. It'll be okay. your money will depart from your wallet soon anyway.
No, not you guys. Sit down it's all right I'm not talking about anyone in general here - heck not even on VGR. It's moreso everyone else on social media. I just realized this today, and I feel like I've become...liberated.
Everywhere I look, I see stupid ass people on Nintendo's social media, crying, whining that they didn't get the games they wanted this E3. "Why would you LIE about Fire Emblem being 1 game?" "THIS ISN'T THE METROID WE WANTED!!!"
"You lost E3, Nintendo"
"AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO AMIIBO"
What the actual hell? It's times like this where I sit back and I actually think to myself "What is wrong with these people?" Personally, I thought Nintendo's E3 presentation was a home run. I mean, it wasn't Sony, but it surely wasn't Ubisoft either.
It took me like the whole week to figure it out but the answer is plain and simple:
American gamers are so self-entitled and greedy it's ridiculous. Nintendo didn't screw anything up during E3 - in fact, the whole time, I felt like Nintendo's digital presentation was centered on fun - which is what they've always stood for. They're like a digital Disney - they appeal to everyone and all tastes - and some ridiculous ideas you might've seen are ultimately covert marketing "schemes" (i.e. Animal Crossing amiibo Festival is nothing we would play as core gamers - but that's not the audience. AC is a fairly niche franchise, and amiibo Festival is a thinly-veiled casual entry for family entertainment that'll hopefully get your mom, who's privvy to board games but not so much time-consuming ones, to possibly take the leap and try out Happy Home Designer or New Leaf)
Everywhere I go, I see shit like this:
My E3 predictions LOL Wrote:Two new Mario Kart 8 DLC packs will be announced with a focus on battle mode. Battle mode is really all this otherwise perfect game has ever been missing. What better way to get us all playing again?
Wii U will get a new MSRP of $199.99 including 2 games. Yes, I know it’s drastic, but that’s what it’s going to take to get that install base up.
Nintendo will announce a redesigned Wii U GamePad featuring a better touch screen, higher resolution display, better battery life, and a slimmed down and more ergonomic body. I realize this completely clashes with my previous prediction, but let me have my fun.
Pokémon Z will be announced, will be exclusive to New 3DS, and will launch alongside Pokémon amiibo cards.
Retro Studios will announce its new project, a Kid Icarus action RPG for Wii U. As much as I would love to see Retro tackle Metroid again, seeing them do something completely different would be equally exciting.
This isn't a list of predictions, this is a freakin wish list. These are ridiculously high hopes, and unrealistic expectations from a conservative little Japanese company like Nintendo who chooses to err on the side of caution, given the sheer amount of flops as of recent.
I'm mostly cheesed with shit like this and then posts following it crying about how these things weren't what fans wanted or wished for, STARTING PETITIONS ON CHANGE.ORG TO CANCEL GAMES, and that "Nintendo is digging their own grave". No. You're stupid as hell and development teams aren't your chimps who just shit out games and get paid in bananas to do so, and your actions say "I don't want companies like Nintendo to develop new games, I just want them to churn out remakes and make zero dollars." Because when you say that, Starfox Zero happens, where people complain "this looks just like the N64 game. I don't want this"
I just
arrrrrgh can we tactically nuke these shitty, entitled gamers? Dumpass gamers who hate innovation and minorities in game development?
just boom
blow 'em up
tl;dr: Nintendo is a traditionally conservative, Japanese (read: ass-backwards) company who chooses to err on the side of caution. It's why they're rolling in dough, and will do so for decades on end. Their backwards reasoning doesn't always work out (N3DSXL, amiibo) but they'll catch on eventually. They keyword with Nintendo, as is every other gaming company ever, is "patience". They'll get it right...just give them another few months to sort things out and be there to comfort you. It'll be okay. your money will depart from your wallet soon anyway.
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