05-20-2012, 11:41 AM
A tip from a pro writer: When writing a letter, don't write spoken language. You have tons of ellipses in your text, for instance. Dou you really think a king would write like that? It might be okay for a direct speech given towards his son, but a letter should consist of much more thought-out sentences. Keep in mind people used to make several drafts and revisions before sending a letter.
Now if you told me it was not a letter, but a speach at the deathbed of said king, that'd be a different story where all the pauses to gather thoughts would fit.
Now if you told me it was not a letter, but a speach at the deathbed of said king, that'd be a different story where all the pauses to gather thoughts would fit.