Eastendeeerrrss!!!!

[Maxpphire]

Hint: You have been getting pointers this whole time!!!!

this song is all broken; it doesn't follow a regular timing. Also, that 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' part is too loud and ear grating. At least, make it less loud, so it won't be an ear rape

GIVE YOUR SONG A SET BEAT, ALSO DON'T MAKE ANY PARTS ANY LOUDER THEN THE REST OF THE SONG

you tried way too hard to be technical and melodic at the same time

TRY FOCUSING MORE ON ONE AND ADD HINTS OF THE OTHER UNTIL YOU GET BETTER

and the end result is incredibly sloppy

CLEAN UP YOUR MUSIC A BIT MORE

Listen, honestly songs that are kinda choppy are ok if they are done right, you dunno how to do it right, you might want to practice first. No one has yet said "omg the song is amazing!!!!" so that probably means you should say to yourself "hmmmm, something is not right with the song, maybe I should go fix it"