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My Mario Comic
#1
Over the past few weeks, I've been working on a Super Mario sprite comic. It's not finished however and has not yet been put on my site. Feel free to comment and critisize on it so I can fiz those aspects of the comic. THANK YOU HOPE YOU ENJOY

[Image: 1.png]

[Image: 2.png]

[Image: 3.png]

[Image: 4.png]


[Image: 5.png]
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#2
Ok, instead of just taking the easy way out and calling it shit, I'm going to really elaborate.

First of all, you're very inconsistent in which sprite style you're using. In fact, I'm going to illustrate my point in why sprite styles being mixed together suck. Your audience here is in some way shape or form constantly bombarded by sprites. Either oldschool gamers, spriters, rippers or just people who frequent the site. We have been exposed to quite a few and know what looks good to us. The following is pretty much the graphical equivalent of your hodgepodge.

[Image: aparralell.png]

You've taken something that worked well in it's own merits, slapped things that don't mesh, and in some areas fail to clean up the obvious faults.

Second of all, the story is bland and uninteresting. "Mario 3 Luigi" go and take a vacation, princess gets threatened by a moronic bowser with a MechaKoopa overseeing it all. Meanwhile we have pointless segment involving Jhoto, an excuse to make a "Smashed Luigi" (HAR HAR, TRULY A WIT U R) and this boring exposition that explains nothing we couldn't have deduced. You've set yourself up for a cross-over, and really, most of us want nothing to do with it, and you can't make it genuine here.

And finally, you're being inconsistent with your frame count, frame length, and even font. It's very boring, very ugly, and just all in all repulsive.

Please, for the love of whatever shard of talent you may posses, either stop this abomination or desperately try to give it much needed consistency and cohesion.


#3
(06-14-2009, 11:11 AM)Zee Wrote: Ok, instead of just taking the easy way out and calling it shit, I'm going to really elaborate.

First of all, you're very inconsistent in which sprite style you're using. In fact, I'm going to illustrate my point in why sprite styles being mixed together suck. Your audience here is in some way shape or form constantly bombarded by sprites. Either oldschool gamers, spriters, rippers or just people who frequent the site. We have been exposed to quite a few and know what looks good to us. The following is pretty much the graphical equivalent of your hodgepodge.

[Image: aparralell.png]

You've taken something that worked well in it's own merits, slapped things that don't mesh, and in some areas fail to clean up the obvious faults.

Second of all, the story is bland and uninteresting. "Mario 3 Luigi" go and take a vacation, princess gets threatened by a moronic bowser with a MechaKoopa overseeing it all. Meanwhile we have pointless segment involving Jhoto, an excuse to make a "Smashed Luigi" (HAR HAR, TRULY A WIT U R) and this boring exposition that explains nothing we couldn't have deduced. You've set yourself up for a cross-over, and really, most of us want nothing to do with it, and you can't make it genuine here.

And finally, you're being inconsistent with your frame count, frame length, and even font. It's very boring, very ugly, and just all in all repulsive.

Please, for the love of whatever shard of talent you may posses, either stop this abomination or desperately try to give it much needed consistency and cohesion.

Thank you, for your "constructive" criticism. owever I made the news reporter in Johto because I thought that it might be fun to mix things up. Also I won't stop doing this I love doing this, and enjoy it very much, but thanks for the help sir, veery much appreciated.
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#4
Keep doing it by all means but stop mixing styles and think of a new storyline.
One that hasn't been done 6m+ times.
this is a sig


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#5
(06-14-2009, 12:10 PM)AceTrainer♂BigG Wrote: Keep doing it by all means but stop mixing styles and think of a new storyline.
One that hasn't been done 6m+ times.

Okay thanks, I'll do that.
Anything else wrong with it?
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#6
This was actually entertaining. Good job, keep up the good work.
Character Reference: 1 2
Love: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
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#7
I actually chuckled at the "I know, all 26 letters?!?" joke, but that was it.
The rest sucked, and you should definitely listen to Zee.

oh also on the first part that explains the comic
get rid of that white text you can't read it
[Image: ndsMEF0.gif][Image: sig.gif]
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#8
This is the worst sprite comic I have ever seen.
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#9
Thanks for your support guys, I'm kind of a noob to making comics. Although I've been making sprite comics since I was 9(almost 5 years!), I'm still barely getting good at them.
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#10
You haven't gotten good yet, but do keep trying. Remember, unify your plot and style. Don't just throw everything together and hope for the best, actually do some writing and planning to make it happen.


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#11
nice story
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