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Advice for book writing.
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(03-24-2016, 11:58 AM)StevenB Wrote: @Benny; I've taken a look at the characters ut I find myself kinda turned away from Benny's design I have to say. You should drop the cartoonish proportions. Especially since iwth bunnies people will immeditaly make the connection with Bugs Bunny which makes it hard to take it seriously. Furthermore, I find the design to be very plain, he;s literally just every other rabbit character every to me. The addition of a horn making him part unicorn also feels kind of farfetched to me. Sorry for not mincing my words on this, but I hope to give you some unfiltered feedback through this.

I think your best bet would be to ask your boss to hire a professional artiist if she feels so strongly about pictures, and maybe get to the bottom of why she wants that so much. 
Furthermore I think you should take Dragon's advice and put your primary focus on improving the story itself. Maybe if you post more info people can help you plot out how to work out the designs of the characters.

Well, I have yet to try more... rabbit like proportions. Though instead of that, maybe I should try to make his design more closer to that of an actual al'mi-raj, as that's what he's based off of. From the depictions of Al'mi-raj I've seen, they're usually skinnier than normal bunnies with longer legs. ...Of course, I've seen lots of renditions of the creature. Still, it might not be a bad idea to stray away from more cartoon humanoid anatomy.

I do actually keep reading my story, and I do agree: there are quite a few things I could improve on. For example, the tone is a bit over the place. There's also a few villains I'm not entirely proud of that could use fleshing out. And I could probably remove all obvious ties with Earth from the story.

Anyway, Benny lives in a world called Mythica which is a world inhabited by monsters of lore, including Oni, Dragons, gyno/andro sphynxes, etc. ...I feel I have too many monsters based off Japanese Youkai in the story.

...But anyway, the main character makes his current residence in a dumpster in the slums of a large city, which is ruled by his tyrannical and miserly cousin. Benny does what he can to get by, but gets himself involved in the affairs of a serial killer who puts his victims to sleep before killing them. His starting friends are an oni who acts dumb due to a law set by a jealous creature, the wife of the serial killer who's locked in a relationship with him against her will, and an elderly tanuki who runs the soup kitchen that Benny visits every day. Along the way, he will meet friends and enemies such as a large Glasya Labolas who specializes in cold magic, and his even larger friend, a Cerberus with three minds, one of which being more sinister than the last. A good chunk of the story also involves Benny trying to protect a strange aquatic creature known as Carbuncle from all the various badguys.

...Okay, so the premise sounds a bit... strange yet familiar. I don't want to describe the story too much by giving parts of it away, but this is the general synapse of it.
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Messages In This Thread
Advice for book writing. - by Benny The Miraj - 03-23-2016, 02:04 PM
Advice for book writing. - by Benny The Miraj - 03-30-2016, 07:26 AM
RE: Characters for a Graphic Novel: Maturity criticism - by Benny The Miraj - 03-24-2016, 02:24 PM

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