What movie did you just watch?

[Koopaul]

So just got back from seeing Godzilla and... I'm disappointed. Surprise, right?

Several times I wanted to shout in anger at the screen. Only the last 15-20 minutes of the film were good. Did that make up for the first 100 minutes? NOPE. So I'm gonna list all the things that upset me, SPOILERS!

Spoiler

1. They kill off Bryan Cranston's character early in the film and were stuck with his son for the rest of the film. Did not care about the guy at all!

2. Every FUCKING time a monster is destroying, or fighting, they CUT AWAY from it! So Godzilla first appears and is about to fight Muto the monster right? They stand off and are about to fight. Okay cool. CUT AWAY to see the fight being shown on TV in someone's home through a shakey news cam. WHAT!? They do this TWICE! Only until the very end of the film we get to see a real fight.

3. There's more Muto than Godzilla. Yeah Godzilla is barely in this film and barely does anything until the end. Muto the Not-Mothra is considered the biggest threat in the film and Godzilla is a minor nuisance. Speaking of which...

4. Godzilla is not a force of destruction! That's right Godzilla is the good guy. And not in an anti-hero kind of way. He straight up does not care to destroy buildings or kill people. All he wants to do is kill Muto and "restore balance to nature" as they say like four times in the movie. The commercials lie to you. They make Godzilla out to be this scary monster who's going to destroy humanity, NOPE!

5. Not enough people dieing. This is actually very important to me so listen up. I don't know if there's something wrong with me, but I enjoy crying. I hated Titanic until I saw the parts where people are dieing in the most tragic ways ever. There's people fighting, children crying, death is left-to-right. Good human drama there! Does this movie have that? NOPE!

So there's this part where our main hero, (the one I couldn't give two shits about), finds Short Round from Indiana Jones. The kid has been separated by his parents. NOT by a monster attack, but because the monorail door shut between them. So the guy looks after him. Then monsters attack and the guy manages to save Short Round. After that is over we see a scene where hero boy is looking for the parents. It seems like the parents died and the kid will have to deal with the traged- no they're fine! Everyone is fine! The only people we really get to see affected by this disaster is our main characters and they have a happy ending.

6. Terrible organization of the film. Remember that awesome teaser trailer with the guys sky diving into what looks like hell on Earth? Looks like a good buildup to our first look at the monsters. Actually, that's at the end... After we have already seen Godzilla and Muto. What's the point in that big scary build-up if we have already seen the beast... many times!? There's a number of other examples where they completely ruin the mood because something dramatic is happening at the wrong time and to the wrong people.

7. Inappropriate shakey cam. So I hate when the camera shakes in movies. I guess it's okay when there's action going on. But when two people are talking in a living room you do not need to shake that camera!

So that's my rant. I'm not done explaining everything that's wrong with the film but I need to calm down now.