09-28-2012, 07:56 AM
(09-27-2012, 10:13 PM)Devicho Wrote: So I let my mom know I'm depressed and had considered killing myself. Insults directed and everything later, and I'm essentially kicked out of my home and have to find something on my own. I have a coworker that will probably let me move in, but... I'm fucking scared. All I was looking for was help, a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to. Instead, my own mother doesn't want me around, she let her boyfriend call me a fucking cunt and tell me to go to hell when I came in tonight to just get a couple things for the night and didn't defend me at all.
I told her I wanted to kill myself; I hope she isn't too surprised when I do.
Sadly this isn't an uncommon reaction. I'm not saying it's right but she's obviously hurt as she'll feel as she's failed as a mother. Emotion has jumped before logic and caused a lot of damage, hopefully some time in the future she'll see what a terrible thing she's done, whether you forgive her or not is another thing. It's an awful awful thing but for now I'd try and put it far out of your mind.
I think most people here have had some experience with suicide and/or depression. I suffered from it towards the end of Uni and my girlfriend suffered from it terribly for years before I met her, and recently sunk back into it (which also added all the trouble I mentioned sometime ago elsewhere on here), and a good friend killed himself before his 21st some years ago. No warning or note, it's a strange emotion when I think about it.
The loss of life is a terrible thing, especially by one's own hand. It's not an easy journey to get out of the mindset of hopelessness but there's always a future as long as you allow yourself to have it. It's just a case of living for now, one day at a time just getting to the next day while your mind can make some plan of action.
Best of luck, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.