09-17-2012, 02:21 PM
(for those who don't know I've been professionally diagnosed with depression and have been on medication for a few years now, just so you know where i'm coming from in this post)
There's little hope for my future the way things are going. I have horrible classes at a horrible college I have to drive 45 minutes (each way) to get to. The prerequisite for any computer-related classes is the fucking dumbest class in existence (we learned how to extract zip files to a usb drive last week) and I can't motivate myself to do a fucking thing. My parents paid for my college classes and I'm gonna fail the (ironically) important one. That'll set me back and probably piss my parents off. I can't find a job (that doesn't require experience) in a 20-mile radius (did I tell you I live in the middle of fucking nowhere? it's a small community someone built next to the cotton fields between Phoenix and Tucson), so I can't afford to pay for my own classes at a college I hate.
As a junior in high school my dream was to attend a specific college in Norway (which my dad said he'd send me to) but now for some reason he doesn't recall ever saying that and says this college's computer program is "good enough" (maybe for secretaries or data entry jobs). I want to get a loan to go to the Norwegian college but I don't have a job or any collateral. So now I'm stuck in a shithole rut where I hate my life and sometimes just want to die.
This is literally the worst feeling.
There's little hope for my future the way things are going. I have horrible classes at a horrible college I have to drive 45 minutes (each way) to get to. The prerequisite for any computer-related classes is the fucking dumbest class in existence (we learned how to extract zip files to a usb drive last week) and I can't motivate myself to do a fucking thing. My parents paid for my college classes and I'm gonna fail the (ironically) important one. That'll set me back and probably piss my parents off. I can't find a job (that doesn't require experience) in a 20-mile radius (did I tell you I live in the middle of fucking nowhere? it's a small community someone built next to the cotton fields between Phoenix and Tucson), so I can't afford to pay for my own classes at a college I hate.
As a junior in high school my dream was to attend a specific college in Norway (which my dad said he'd send me to) but now for some reason he doesn't recall ever saying that and says this college's computer program is "good enough" (maybe for secretaries or data entry jobs). I want to get a loan to go to the Norwegian college but I don't have a job or any collateral. So now I'm stuck in a shithole rut where I hate my life and sometimes just want to die.
This is literally the worst feeling.