[Sprite Comic] Pokemon The Commercial

[Altrez]

As for your comic, it's very busy for a first issue, and with very little actual progression. You're branching off into a sub plot within the fifth panel when we've just barely been introduced to the first plot.

Generally a first issue should introduce the main character, explain why we like him/her, and then show us the conflict. Or if it's centered on an age or a town, give us a little bit of back drop instead of just thrusting the reader into this conflict with a little girl and some grey guy that I don't care about.

I'm not sure about the layout either, on first glance I just glazed over and refused to take it in. Something about the bold red lines, and perfectly aligned small panels.

Maybe try changing up to different perspectives instead of having the same dead pan shot every time. I realize with the zooming in, you were trying to do this, but try taking the actual panels and overlapping them too, like these:

Spoiler

and marvel style is a great example, http://i40.tinypic.com/1iet07.jpg