05-30-2012, 01:15 PM
You don't need to make a new thread for every chapter, you could collect them in a single one (linking the chapter posts in the first post).
Your "Game Script" "style" still kills the flow of the story and everything is hard to read. You should orient yourself on theater scripts (not the actual stage scripts wich may be loaded with commentary and instructions, but those which were published as books etc): You don't need the detail of an actual "game script" to give your story the feel of one. Keep the annotations and instructions to a minimum.
Besides game scripts hardly work like this. There are gameplay and game mechanics and there are dialogs. Those elements are made with each other in mind, but they're not put together in one "game script", a game is not a theater play. Besides, annotations should be short (not "The player once again is shown arrows indicating that they should look down", but a more generic "pointers: touchscreen" or something, special keywords that have been decided on beforehand).
Another tip for general formatting: Use font faces. Italic text for your annotations. Bold text for the name of the speaking character. Normal text for spoken text. (This is an example, you can choose different usages or even (decent) color formatting)
Also, make clear sage change indicators, divide different scenes with more space in between or seperating lines (the HR-Tag could be useful: [ HR ] without spaces)
I might even suggest manual linebreaks to make the lines less looooong and to pack the text visually. Nice looking text is usually easier to read, long single lines should be avoided (check newspapers, they use columns for a reason).
Your "Game Script" "style" still kills the flow of the story and everything is hard to read. You should orient yourself on theater scripts (not the actual stage scripts wich may be loaded with commentary and instructions, but those which were published as books etc): You don't need the detail of an actual "game script" to give your story the feel of one. Keep the annotations and instructions to a minimum.
Besides game scripts hardly work like this. There are gameplay and game mechanics and there are dialogs. Those elements are made with each other in mind, but they're not put together in one "game script", a game is not a theater play. Besides, annotations should be short (not "The player once again is shown arrows indicating that they should look down", but a more generic "pointers: touchscreen" or something, special keywords that have been decided on beforehand).
Another tip for general formatting: Use font faces. Italic text for your annotations. Bold text for the name of the speaking character. Normal text for spoken text. (This is an example, you can choose different usages or even (decent) color formatting)
Also, make clear sage change indicators, divide different scenes with more space in between or seperating lines (the HR-Tag could be useful: [ HR ] without spaces)
I might even suggest manual linebreaks to make the lines less looooong and to pack the text visually. Nice looking text is usually easier to read, long single lines should be avoided (check newspapers, they use columns for a reason).