TSR 2012 Nuzlocke All-Stars!

[Crappy Blue Luigi]

WARNING: Incredibly long text heavy post. I enjoyed writing this too much.

Dear diary,

holy fuck, I wish Lyra would go harass someone else for once.
I'm sick and tired of her cutesy bullshit. The past three years
of my life in this dump have been all the more miserable
thanks to her presence.

But thankfully, today's the day I'm allowed to set out on my
own and see the world. No more sheltered kid living with his
mom, I'm going to be a free man! Maybe, just maybe, I won't
ever have to see Lyra's face again. Heh, that'll be the day.

-Crappy

...

Dear diary,

Professor Elm gave me my first Pokemon! Actually, he gave me
a choice between three; a mouse-like thing with fire on its
back, a plant creature with an absurdly large leaf sticking
out of its head, and a badass blue crocodile with the widest
fucking grin I've ever seen. Take a wild guess as to who I
picked.

Apparently, his name is Totodile. PFFF, fuck that, his name's
Nash now. Aw yeah. I slapped a pair of shades on him and he
high fived me. I think I made the right choice.

Elm asked me to run him an errand. He's an alright guy, so
I accepted. I guess I need to go to a Mr. Pokemon's house,
just north of Cherrygrove City, and check out his latest
find. What kind of guy names himself after Pokemon?

I can't wait to get out of this hellhole! No more Lyra, no
more Mom nagging me to put away the dishes, and no more red-
headed guy clocking me in the face. Johto, here I come!

-Crappy

...

Dear diary,

oh man, oh man. This day just keeps getting better and better.
So I got to Mr. Pokemon's place, and he had this egg. I guess
nobody knew how Pokemon were born before now? Whatever. The
important thing is, there was this other guy there, Professor
Oak. You might have heard the name, he's only the most well-
known Pokemon expert in Kanto. He gave me a Pokedex. I now own
a Pokedex. Holy shit.

It gets better! On the way out, Elm called me about some kind
of disaster, but he hung up before I could ask what happened.
As I was leaving Cherrygrove, I ran into that red-head jackass
from earlier, and he challenged me to a fight! Who was I to
refuse? (I wasn't really interested in getting my lights
punched out again.) He had that plant creature from Elm's lab.

I'll get back to that, but the important thing here is that
I won. And that's still not the best part! The douche dropped
his Trainer Card as he was running away, and I caught his name;
Crimson. After that, I made my way back home, only to find that
somebody broke into Elm's lab and stole one of his Pokemon.
Gee, I wonder who did that?

Well, now that I've passed that little detour, I'm free to
explore the world. Goodbye, New Bark Town. I won't miss you.

-Crappy

...

Dear diary,

it's been a while since I last wrote. Not a whole lot has
happened, but I made it to the first Gym location, Violet
City.

On the way there, I caught my first two Pokemon. First, a
Hoothoot on Route 29. Something's off about his voice; he
keeps saying something that sounds like "cocoa," so I decided
that that'll be his name. Then, on Route 30, I caught a
Rattata. I named him Lavender, because I felt like it. I don't need
a reason for every name. After I caught him, I passed some
youngsters who wouldn't let me go to Violet City unless I fought
them in a Pokemon battle. It seems Rattatas are fairly popular
around here, so I might not use mine. Gotta stay fresh, yo.

I'm on my way to starting the Gym Challenge, but for now, I'm
tired as fuck. Gotta get some sleep.

Tomorrow, I take on Falkner. Goodnight, diary.

-Crappy