if pokemon were real

[Rhyme]

First, I'd get Pidgey and Ratatta. The basics. I'd breed them. There would be more and more.

Then I'd *blank*ing kill them all and get an army of Gastleys and Banettes and other *blank*ing ghost pokémon.

Using a flying pokemon I'd fly to Sicily and join La Famiglia Rocket. I'd then wait for us to do some shit and Absol to appear and try to warn people, and I'd *blank*ing capture it.

Then ride my Pidgeot (ok this one is still alive) to South America, to Machu Pichu. I'd do the *blank*ing puzzles and awaken the *blank*ing Unown, plus capture lots of Natu and Smeargle that can draw anything.

I'd then go to somewhere like the Philippines and terrorize the local populace with my army of ghosts, mind*blank* birds and letters, and dogs that can copy and do anything they see.

I'd also kill Giovanni and the real leader of Rocket, Berlusconi. I'd claim the Federated States of Micronesia as my own micronation, conquering all. I'd start hiring associates, evil cute girls. But not too many, or they would manipulate me.

I'd kill more and more pokémon for more and more ghosts. I'd kidnap Abra all over the world for an army of *blank*ing Alakazam.

I'd invade Iran and get their weapon of mass-destruction, Mewtwo.

The US would let me do all this until Team Aqua or Team Magma blow up the World Trade Center, then Bush would be all like "let's fightan terrorism with mah poochyena" that is actually a ratatta silly bush

Bin Laden would use Golems and Koffings, for Selfdestruct.

I'd then start creating subroutine disks to infect the FBI and CIA's Porygons and Porygon 2, creating an army of Porygon Z and MissingNo.

And then some kid from somewhere would manage to destroy all this and say it was because he loved his pokémon. *blank*ing furry.

Please , Stop Swearing ! I Have Never Seen So Much Swearing In One Place !