The Sordid Scripts of kyrtuck

[kyrtuck]

I've written, or tried to write spoof scripts for fun. This is one for LOTR, its meant for a possible comic (one that will never happen), but it could be used for a movie too (also unlikely to happen). I've got over 50 pages for this, and still less than half way through. I'll just show it here little by little. Again, any types of comments would be nice.

Narrator: It all started with the making of the nose rings of power.
-
Three were given to the nerds, the masters of schoolwork and trivial matters. -
Five were given to the leppers, in their lonely, isolated halls.
-
And nine, were given to the plumbers, who above all else, desired power and better jobs. -
But they were all decieved, for there was another nosering made.
-
In the heart of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, a master nosering was being forged. -
And in it, Sauron poured in his hatred, his meaniness, and his will to boss around Middle earth.
-
One by one the kingdoms of Middle earth fell...
-
...But there were some who resisted.(men and nerds marching to battle)
-
A last alleigence of Men and nerds fight Sauron's forces at the slopes of Mount Doom. -
(one huge battle scene, possible splash page)
-
Nerd sergant: ready, aim... (nerds aim bows)
-
Fire! (most of the arrows go past his head, one hits him)
-
(one or two battle scenes)
-
Narrator: Victory was near! (Elendil in a dramatic pose)
-
...But the power of the nosering could not be undone. (Sauron comes in with the noserting.) -
(Sauron flicks a group of men , sending them flying through the air.)
-
(Saurpon flicks another group of men)
-
(Elendil charges at Sauron) -
(Sauron flicks him) -
Esilidur: No Daddy! -
(rushes to his fallen father) -
Narrator: And just when all hope seemed lost... (Sauron comes up) -
Isilidur takes his father's sword and...(Isilidur takes sword)
-
(cuts off Sauron's nose) -
(nose falls to the ground) -
(Sauron lights up like he's about to explode)
-
(and pops like he was a pinata)
-
(candy falls out) soliders: Candy!

[Oddball]

This is horrible.
The only good parts are the parts where you took the words from the actual movie.

It wasn't even good at what it was supposed to be.
Spelling errors and the like.

:/

[Comix]

I think I'm going to cry.

[kyrtuck]

Eh, I don't remember any spelling errors in particular. Anyway, I'm going to go skip ahead to where they're in the Shire.

Subtitle= 60 years later (Frodo sitting u8nder a tree reading a porn mag)
-
(Frodo hears Gandalf humming and gets up)
-
(Gandalf coming up the road) Frodo: You're late.
-
Gandalf: A wizard is never late...nor is he ever too early. He always arrives precisly when traffic will allow it.
-
(Frodo and Gandalf look at each other)
-
(Then they both laugh and hug)
-
Frodo: So what's happening in the outside world? I want to hear everything. (Sitting in cart with Gandalf)
-
Gandalf: Everything? Geez, don't you ever watch BBC World news?
Frodo: No.
-
Gandalf: Well, not much has been happening. Game consels come and go, people still ignore Global Warming, evil warlords are plotting the destruction of humanity. Same old, same old.(driving through Shire)
-
Frodo: You know, we Bagginses used to be very well thought of. We never had any adventures and never did anything unexpected.
Gandalf: Oh, how exciting. -
Gandalf: Well, if you're refering to the incident with the dragon, I was barely involved. I merely gave your uncle a littlepush out of the door.
Frodo: Well, whatever you did, you've officially been labeled "a disturber of the peace" -
(Wanted poster of Gandalf, wanted dead or alive, with a reward)
-
Gandalf: Well, that should be amusing.

Oh, and I also thought about doing spoof names of the characters, like Ganondalf, Grimli, Froodoo, Eragorn, and such.

[Oddball]

Eh, I don't remember any spelling errors in particular. Anyway, I'm going to go skip ahead to where they're in the Shire.

Subtitle= 60 years later (Frodo sitting u8nder a tree reading a porn mag)

Mmmk.
Gotcha.