The VG Resource - Paper Mario animations

I'll do more for the Goomba once I get the A-OK on my progress so far. (Either that or several days pass before I get any new information. Whatever comes first, really.) In the meantime, I scratched out a little more progress of my Koopa.

[Image: cILrLy0.png]

I'm under the impression that Virt wants me to try something else for the main angle of the head, so I sketched out two new head ideas in case he want me to use either of those. One has the beak shortened, while the other has the mouth shortened. How did I do?

Darn it! Apparently, Imgur is over capacity at the time I'm writing this post and I can't really use it as it's like this. With that in mind, I ha ve no choice but to dust off my Photobucket account for this update.

[Image: Big%20Lamp%20Ghost%20start_zps6btlz1av.png~original]

[Image: Big%20Lamp%20Ghost%20start_zps6btlz1av.png~original]

The Big Lantern Ghost is the last character with a unique body type I began progress for on for this short. Even though he is holding a lantern in this sketch and his sheet will have it, he won't have his lantern in the actual short for plot specific reasons.

Speaking of the plot, I was wondering if there are any parts I could rewrite to make it more "show-don't-tell." I plan to do something about Yellow's rant at the end since it goes against this idea (and it is a little mean-spirited), but anything else you want me to alter in the original script? In a Skype chat, a friend of mine said that Yellow knows about the Kammy Koopa situation, yet he is told the details again anyway. What do you think of this?

EDIT: These links lead to each part of the script.
http://www.vg-resource.com/thread-26049-...#pid588856
http://www.vg-resource.com/thread-26049-...#pid589005
http://www.vg-resource.com/thread-26049-...#pid589116

The ghost guy was a pain for me until I realized Bow's slap attack counts as multiple hits to the lantern.

The sketch shows some improvement, but the line technique does not. If this is traditional, you should draw the sketch lines very lightly, then mark off the major outlines using harder pencil strokes. This makes it miles easier for the inker's job, since he doesn't have to tell which line to draw.

Either way, things are looking better and better.

You do realize that Smithy made a point about my sketchy lines and explained why the inker (AKA me) will have no trouble at all, right?

http://www.vg-resource.com/thread-26049-...#pid596334

Anyway, I don't think you saw this yet, but I actually made an alternate edit of Kent C. Koopa's head a bit ago you might be interested in. Even though I already posted it in this thread, I'll repost it here just in case you missed it, Fillerthefreak.

[Image: QULGrcs.png]

Speaking of Kent, without anymore feedback on him, I decided to tackle his glasses next. After that and gathering the colors for his palette, I intend to ink him next. I know I used the old heads, but the glasses on the right could easily fit over the new edit of the head if I end up using that version.

[Image: 0hPDziw.png]

I took care of the palette for the Big Lantern Ghost and made a sketch of him holding his lantern when he is facing to the right (I'm able to mirror this in Maya, so no need to worry).

[Image: RMX9oH7.png]

I tried something different with the palette by also including some spheres with the new colors on them. That way, you can get a very good preview of what each color will look like on a character before I start the coloring process.

I'm sorry it took so long, but I managed to color the Goomba. On top of that, I also created a cameo for the short. I bet you've seen this hansom chap on YouTube somewhere before, right?

[Image: xBIYtjN.png]

I made a few variations with the Goomba character on the right. Most of them involve the color of the teeth, but I also made a version of the head with different colored eyebrows and pupils (I can either use on o the other or both). What do you think I should go for?

Before I end things off, I want to show you guys the first bit of sketching for Princess Peach in spite of her not actually appearing in the first short. The face on the left shows an alternate take on the eyes with the facial parts slightly higher in cause you want me to use that variation.

[Image: CR6RN6f.png]

(08-22-2015, 09:50 PM)E-Man Wrote: [ -> ]I'm sorry it took so long, but I managed to color the Goomba. On top of that, I also created a cameo for the short. I bet you've seen this hansom chap on YouTube somewhere before, right?

I made a few variations with the Goomba character on the right. Most of them involve the color of the teeth, but I also made a version of the head with different colored eyebrows and pupils (I can either use on o the other or both). What do you think I should go for?

I wouln't shade the Goomba's eyes like in the other examples. It kind makes him look like he's a drug addict, lol. His eyes on the top left one are fine.

The color scheme on the one to the left is fine, if you just brightened the color ones on the face like you did on the right (basically, make it less blue) he'll look pretty nice.

Also, it seems like you completely ignored my suggestion from last time. I'm not sure what you read, but it's as if whatever I said just completely flew over your head :/
What I was saying is that you should really move his feet up higher on his torso, like the games have been doing since SMB1:

I know you're trying to not infringe on the game's artstyle (???) but otherwise, he looks kinda...outstretched. Try moving the feet up his torso. Lettuce see the results C:

Actually, the Goomba on the top left is the normal variation of the Goomba you'll see throughout this series. The other one is actually meant to be my take on the Lonely Goomba since I plan to make him cameo in the short.

If you don't know who he is, you'll be bale to find his channel through this link.

Also, I didn't completely ignore your suggestion, so I would appreciate it if you didn't assume something like that. Compared to a previous version, the feet are actually higher up.

[Image: z0wcjNe.png]

The one on the left is what the Goomba actually looked like before I moved the feet up. Since you didn't say anything about it, I was thinking that the version I used now was okay (especially since there is a nice amount of room between the head and the feet). In spite of that, though, I decided to play around with the feet again. Did I get it right this time?

[Image: Eg6woex.png]

1 pretty much nails it. :V
Sorry to be kind of a dick about it, though but it just seems like you didn't acknowledge it at all so I was a bit cheesed about it >:

I...didn't even know the Lonely Goomba was a thing though oops. If he's meant to look psychotic, then you've nailed it lol. Also, I think what I was trying to say is like, the regular Goomba's colors are too...deep. Like he's TOO brown. Someone else might be able to explain it better than me, but I've seen how your coloring method works in the past - if you make the highlight color lighter on the standard Goomba's face, it'll be a little more "balanced" and will look okay. It might be...a thing with your monitor, as I tilted mine and the Goomba suddenly looks OK but as of now, his colors are too "deep" >:

I forgive you, mate. Still, I did actually acknowledge you several days ago when you made that original post. You'll find it right through this link. I guess you missed it for some reason? :/

Now, as much as I'd like to go with number two since it gives a nice amount of space between the head and the foot, I'll go with your option since you like it best. As for the head color, maybe the hue shifting I used for Luigi's hair might help with this one?

[Image: MtzBpLD.png]

The new one's on the right.

I just want to show you guys this before I begin the script overhaul.

[Image: 5BFTeA8.png]

The variation without the limbs is meant to show an alternate placement of the face in case the one I've choses before looks a bit off. Also, the center variation shows one of the feet being obscured by the body sheet in case that looks better.

Right then, time for a script revision. What I want to focus on is giving the Koopa Bros. more rounded personalities (with the possible exception of Red due to what kind of character he is) and stick closely to the personalities I intended for them. Just click here if you want to see what I have in mind for them.

By the way, I was going to mention this before in the post I was describing the Koopa Bros. personalities, but the post went on for longer than I liked it to, so I had to cut it out. Before I show you the script I wrote, I want to give my two cents on the other changes Kosheh brought up.

- When I read the script again prior to Kosheh's rewrite of the first couple of parts, I saw several typos throughout. Even though the typos wouldn't badly affect the script, I'm not against changing them (especially since I almost instantly correct any typos I spot in my posts). I just didn't get around to correcting the typos because it's easier to work on the full script in Microsoft Word (which currently doesn't work right now ever since my dad replaced the hard drive).

- I don't know how I feel about Bombette being called the "pink Bob-omb." It just seems a little generic. I only chose "dame" to fit with Red's habit of disrespecting others. I could always go with "chick" or "babe" instead. Probably the former since "babe" would suggest that Red has a crush on her.

- I never really thought about emphasizing certain words for the most part. I was intending that to be up to the voice actor to decide which words and phrases need more emotional stress (with the exception of when I specifically point out which parts need that kind of stress). In spite of that, I'll try Kosheh's method to see how that works out.

- When it comes to additional actions not covered in the script, such as sprite flipping in the dialog, I honestly want to save it for when I work on the storyboard and rough out the animation. Still, I don't exactly mind adding more actions in just in case some actions are not clear and/or need more details.

- I'm cool with the K-Game pun. I'll be sure to throw it in there.

- When I read over my first edition of the script after Kosheh brought up this detail, I was smacking my head and asking myself why I didn't give Bowser a nickname over and over again. Even Red, who is the most informal of the bunch and the most like Michelangelo, just calls him Bowser.

- Actually, having Black sigh and walk out is a good idea. At the same time, though, I also want to show Black's competence as a ninja, so I'm thinking a compromise between these two ideas could work.

- As for using joke weapons for the Koopa Bros., I'm actually fine with that. The only problem is that it's hard to pull it off in this short. The only one actually fighting is Black, but he is way too serious to consider using anything besides actual ninja gear unless he has to improvise. This might end up as something I need to save for later shorts, but I can at least imagine this concept clearly for the remaining three Koopa Bros. Red will try to pass off his joke weapons as the real deal and gets irritated if someone points it out. Green is a bit more modest about it, but he is actually successful with using these kind of weapons. As for Yellow, I imagine him using goofy devices made from discarded junk that are similar to the ones seen throughout Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy.

Now then, I digressed enough. It's time to move onto the first part of the script. If it turns out I got the second revision right, I'll move onto the next part and give it the same treatment. By the way, my notes on the script are in red in case it isn't obvious enough.

I uh, I have to be honest - it's actually really tough to read through this time around. >_o Sweatdrop

Like, I get what you're going for with Red, but his dialogue feels extremely forced now. :/

Like - okay, in short you've written the characters with too much character. On a scale of 1 to 10, you just cranked them up to like 11. Very Sad

(Rather, shoot for like a 5 or ...uh, 7 tops)

Also uh, seems like you're splitting hairs a bit with some of those points but uh
* Kosheh shrugs

(08-30-2015, 11:46 AM)E-Man Wrote: [ -> ]- I don't know how I feel about Bombette being called the "pink Bob-omb." It just seems a little generic. I only chose "dame" to fit with Red's habit of disrespecting others. I could always go with "chick" or "babe" instead. Probably the former since "babe" would suggest that Red has a crush on her.

I can't say I memorized the Paper Mario script from my teenage years, but there's not really anything about Bombette's gender that sticks out besides her name - and I'm pretty sure she didn't speak to the Koopa Bros either (only to Mario) so there's no concrete way that Red would know her gender. I also went with the "generic" approach as it flowed better with his dialogue.

(08-30-2015, 11:46 AM)E-Man Wrote: [ -> ]- As for using joke weapons for the Koopa Bros., I'm actually fine with that. The only problem is that it's hard to pull it off in this short. The only one actually fighting is Black, but he is way too serious to consider using anything besides actual ninja gear unless he has to improvise. This might end up as something I need to save for later shorts, but I can at least imagine this concept clearly for the remaining three Koopa Bros. Red will try to pass off his joke weapons as the real deal and gets irritated if someone points it out. Green is a bit more modest about it, but he is actually successful with using these kind of weapons. As for Yellow, I imagine him using goofy devices made from discarded junk that are similar to the ones seen throughout Ed, Edd, 'n' Eddy.

It doesn't have to be used in THIS short - just think about it. lol it's a one-off gag
Like if they threaten to fight Mario, just have them show up, and be all "Now we're REALLY ready to rumble!!" and have them all pose with their weapons, but then be like "na we were just using them for show"

So, I overdid it, huh? Personally, I'm glad that I gave it my all instead of make an effort that either made Red look bland or my script look outright lazy/subpar. In spite of this, I'll try toning it down in the next revision.

As for Bombette's gender, since I know Paper Mario like the back of my hand (and I looked up a playthrough on YouTube just in case), Bombette mentions how she worked for the Koopa Bros. and blew up next to them. I can imagine there might have been a short exchange of words between them in either situation, so the Koopa Bros. might know her gender then. Plus, with an appearance like that, they could probably assume her gender anyway. Regardless, just in case you're not happy with the originally line, I'll provide suggestions on what to change it in hopes of a better flow.

Also, Kosheh, thank you for being cool about the one gag. I was just a little concerned that I need to somehow write it into the story without shoehorning it in, so that lifts a weight off my shoulder. Big Grin

Anyway, let's move on! From the sound of it, only Red needs adjustments. If a character like Green or Yellow needs adjustments, I'll see what I can do in the next revision. I wrote the new lines in blue, and I also left in his original lines for you to compare them with.

I went ahead with rewriting the second part of the script, too. I hope you don't mind me "stealing" some of your lines and slightly changing