[Story] The Joker

[AmiEkcona]

Chapter one

Litwick's flame burned brightly. Chandelure and Lampent floated behind him. Tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock. It was almost time. Time for revenge. Litwick's friends called him The Joker. He was a shiny Litwick with a blue flame. Recently a sneaky Pokemon had been stealing food from their so-called "mansion". It was run-down and old. A river ran behind it. People believed the house was haunted with ghosts. Well...they were sort of right. Litwick and other ghost Pokemon haunted it. A forest surrounded it, except for a long, cleared path. There were rumors that a brave man went in one day and never came back. His wife wasn't so brave, but she was worried about her husband. She disappeared as well. The secret was that The Joker had been keeping them in the house for years. Many Pokemon came, but the ghost Pokemon scared them away. The Joker especially. The Joker turned to his two friends, and they scurried off.
"It's time..." Joker said. "Revenge is mine! Those bloody dang people...they don't deserve to be 'trainers'."
"You don't even know what a trainer is, Joker. What a joke! Get it? Joke?" Haunter snickered at Joker.
"Get out of here, Haunter!" Joker growled.
"It's true, Joker." Serperior slithered by. "Ssssss....I'm hungry...sssss..."
Serperior slid off in search of food.
"Humans...humans...humans...I hate them..." Joker muttered.
"Get out...of my...home..." a voice growled. "Intruders...leave..."
"It's not your house! It's ours! We were here first."
A Liepard and two Purrloin stepped out of the shadows.
"Ready to play, Joker?" the Liepard asked. "Don't you remember me? Doesn't the name 'Angel' mean anything to you?"
Joker stopped in his tracks. "A-angel?" he stammered.
"Yes, it's me. The Purrloin you loved a few years ago...you see what's happened to me now? It was my home, I let you stay in it. And I've evolved. Meet my two girls, Amyia and Silver."
"No...it can't be..."
"Oh yes it can. Joker, I've come to claim my home."

[Proton]

Here's a post about why you aren't doing your ellipses properly.

Generally, people post their piece of writing in this board with a billion ellipses.
And you should know,
there really shouldn't be anywhere near 1 or 2.

Huh…say, what's in that box anyways…

Here's an example of why you overdo it/put it somewhere it shouldn't go.

Asking a question.
A question
should not,
will not
and cannot
end with an ellipsis like this.

Not even in a comic book.
This is you writing it because you think ellipses are needed because you think the reader doesn't know the tone you are portraying.
They will. They know how a question will work.
The audience most definitely passed Grade 3.

The problem is that even if I have the key it won't turn no matter how hard I try…" Donavan responded

Here's why you don't understand ellipsis.
Somewhere along the line,
someone used "..." to mean pause.
It never was grammatically correct.

The comma however,
does.


A neat writing trick is to just say the sentence and then say how the character feels.

The problem is that even if I have the key it won't turn no matter how hard I try," Donavan replied with despair.

This is how you build a vocabulary, and a variety of words or descriptions makes a story more vivid, detailed and colourful.





Ellipsis are used for the omission of statements in quotations.
You are not quoting a document,
or a person
or anything that can be quoted.
You do not use them in a novel format the way you are doing now.

If you even knew what it was,
you'd know never to use it in this format.


I just want you to realize you shouldn't use them.

It isn't just because of grammar.
It makes you look like a sloppy, weak "writer."

I take that you're new at grammar, but you should have actually looked into what you were using before you used it.
It'd be like saying a word before knowing its meaning.



And yes,
the ellipsis has become colloquial enough to be found in things like comic books or forum posts.
You are using that informal and incorrect use.

It does have a different meaning in those kinds of writings (comic books or forum posts; not always the case in them, though), but you shouldn't take those meanings into writing.
It'd be like making someone just say 'k' when they want 'okay.'
That's just abhorred writing.

[Gors]

no, proton.......

you're wrong........

---

Yes, read proton's criticsm throughly, because ellipsis is not a multi-usage punctuation symbol.