06-28-2012, 03:19 PM
Do you re-read your writings? I stumbled upon a few spelling errors just within the two half paragraphs I peeked at.
It reads weird how Meta always uses "Kirby" when speaking of Kirby even multiple times in one sentence. Try not to repeat a word too often in too short time. Paraphrase instead (eg "the little bugger") and use common replacements like "him" (I'm not familiar with grammatical terms, not even in my native tongue).
Again, I suggest to split it into smaller parts and to try to polish them. Proofread and check how it sounds, too. You've got spelling errors and typos almost everywhere.
It reads weird how Meta always uses "Kirby" when speaking of Kirby even multiple times in one sentence. Try not to repeat a word too often in too short time. Paraphrase instead (eg "the little bugger") and use common replacements like "him" (I'm not familiar with grammatical terms, not even in my native tongue).
Again, I suggest to split it into smaller parts and to try to polish them. Proofread and check how it sounds, too. You've got spelling errors and typos almost everywhere.