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+----- Thread: Coldest Nightmare (/thread-11176.html)
Coldest Nightmare - Kriven - 01-31-2010
Mueh.
I stare at the cold day,
Through the frosted screen.
In the snow she stands,
A figure too seldom seen.
I forget to breathe,
For just a moment.
Pound the glass.
And immediately lament.
She looks at me,
Shakes her head,
Then turns away.
My heart feels dead.
No real... form, I guess.
RE: Coldest Nightmare - Cshad - 01-31-2010
I really like the first part. The rest of it kinda, well, sucks. The rythem is inconsistent and it stops rhyming half way through.
RE: Coldest Nightmare - Adam - 02-01-2010
I really like it! Very melancholy.